Letters to Nobody - Bamon
by aleshur
Summary: Bonnie Bennett is coming to terms with the disappearance of the two people she cares about most. Damon Salvatore is coming to terms with the fact that he may never truly be 'him' again. Will their perceptions of right and wrong get in the way of their happiness?
1. Chapter 1 - (chapters will be longer)

Chapter 1

Bonnie hadn't slept well in weeks. Her eyes were tired and her feelings confused as she lay alone on the old mattress in her New York apartment. She had never felt this much regret in her entire life, yet somehow she blocked it out. At times she felt like it was her magic that blocked everything out. At times she swore she could feel it rushing to the surface. Sometimes she swore she could feel it at her fingertips, waiting to be activated. Then she remembered that it was gone and that nothing and nobody could bring it back.

A boulder stood between Bonnie and her emotions. She couldn't let them in if she wanted. Occasionally, however, when she sat down in her small New York apartment with a cheap bottle of wine and a sad movie, a ray of regret escaped through the cracks in the thick armour surrounding her feelings. And, oh, how she wished it was regret for Enzo. She wished it was regret for letting him escape her sights. It wasn't, though. It was regret for Damon. For never truly forgiving him. For never listening to his side of things. For treating him like dirt even when he did everything he could do to apologise. She knew she shouldn't feel that way, but she did. And when that little ray of regret swooped in every once in a while, it was the most intense regret she had ever felt.

They had stopped trying to track Enzo and Damon down a month ago. Caroline, though worried about Bonnie, moved on with her life. Her and Alaric had their kids to worry about, too. Stefan didn't give up searching completely. He still occasionally followed leads. But his main priority was always Caroline, henceforth. He was not about to lose her again. Even Matt Donavan moved far away somewhere. Bonnie gave up too after Stefan did, but when she moved to New York, her heart didn't go with her.

Now, as she stared up at the ceiling, she pulled herself to her feet using all her willpower. She suddenly couldn't stand to lie there anymore. She dragged her feet to her small, untidy desk and opened one of the drawers. She searched through the paperwork until she found the stacks of papers she was looking for. A letter she had never sent.

The one at the bottom of the stack was from three years ago: from when Damon made the selfish decision of abandoning her.

Dear Damon,

Falling in love with you was like falling asleep jumping off a cliff and hoping that there's a trampoline at the bottom, which is exactly why I took every precaution to avoid doing it. I knew you loved Elena and that wouldn't be right. You were both my best friends. You and Elena were perfect together. Yin and Yang; you completed each other and everyone could see it. You and I were beyond that. For the duration of our time together, I couldn't stand you, you couldn't stand me but there was something there at least on my end that I never really understood. I danced around it, pretended nothing was wrong and it worked, until you left without saying goodbye. I only then realised I had plunged off that cliff and hit the ground at a staggering pace. I only then realised that you were always my first priority, but I was always your second. I was an option to you. You're probably reading this with a confused frown on your face and I don't blame you. You couldn't possibly know how I felt. I didn't know, myself. Don't even act regretful. You're not sorry. You don't care, you never did. All you've ever seen is her. Frienships cause heartbreaks, especially when they go beyond just frienship. And Damon, I'd just like to let you know, that yours didn't just break my heart. It broke me. _You_ broke me.

Here's to you never being able to do that again,

Somebody that you used to know.

Bonnie read the letter, even though she had practically memorised the words. Yes, she had loved Damon. She had loved Enzo, too but in a different way. At this point in time, however, she had no idea _who_ she loved or if she had the capacity to love anymore. As she pulled another paper out of the stack, there was a loud knock at her door.

"Damon?" She mentally slapped herself for thinking it was him. It wasn't him, or Enzo.

She pulled the door open and saw an all too familiar smile.

~ REVIEW FOR CHAPTER 2 ~


	2. Chapter 2

Note: Don't own any of these characters

Also thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! It makes me so happy to see. Also, sorry the first two chapters have been really short. I promise they're going to get much longer. Writing has been a bit problematic for me this week, but I should be able to write longer chapters next week. Also, tell me in your reviews what you think of my version of Stefan. He's a lot more, well... blunt in this fanfic, for reasons that you will see in the future Keep reading!

Chapter 2

Bonnie's tired eyes widened with surprise. She stepped back, fearfully but didn't close the door. "E-Enzo?"

"I have to admit," Enzo said jokingly. "I was expecting a bit more celebration, love." His sarcastic tone didn't fool her. It truly _was_ Enzo. She didn't know how, but he was back.

"It _is_ you!" she said, smiling wider than she had in weeks and wrapping her eyes immediately around him. "I have so many questions!" She bit her lip, realising she only really had one. Where was _he_?

"Maybe let us in first?"

"Us?" She perked up, but then was immediately disappointed when Stefan appeared next to Enzo. She hoped Enzo hadn't noticed her sudden change in expression. Stefan smiled but something in his eyes was solemn.

 _Damon. Something had happened to Damon._

"Come in," she muttered to them. Enzo frowned, but Stefan simply nodded gravely.

"Bonnie, I can't even tell you how much I've missed you," Enzo said, his easy grin returning to his face as he took a seat next to Stefan on Bonnie's couch. She looked into his eyes. There was nothing but love there. She felt a pang of guilt. Even though she loved him too, there was something missing. Her heart hadn't returned when he did.

"I missed you too," she said truthfully and smiled.

"If you're anything like the Bonnie Bennett I knew, then you are probably _dying_ to know everything," he laughed. She nodded frantically. "Where do I even start? Me and Damon have been through a lot the past couple months." _Damon._

"A monster took us over. Controlled us. I have no recollection of what I did, but from what Stefan, here has told me, I did a lot."

Bonnie knew it wasn't fair to ask him about Damon. Not now, after everything he'd been through.

"Do you have any idea what it was?"

"Not a clue," Enzo admitted. "The second I came to my senses, I was out of there."

"You just came to your senses?" she asked, curiously. "Surely something must have triggered that."

"Evidently, yes. Something triggered it. The only question is, what? We need to find that out."

Bonnie glanced at Stefan who hadn't said anything but had been watching her carefully. His eyes seemed to tell her to ask the question, already, but it could have just been her curious imagination.

"What about Damon,"

"Last I saw him, he tried to kill me," Enzo flinched. "He's fine. Currently he's in London, feeding on innocents. Believe me, though. There's nothing that can wake him up."

Bonnie frowned. _What was it that woke Enzo up?_

"We have to try, at least."

Enzo raised his eyebrow. "Bonnie, what do you propose we do? Deliver ourselves to that monster?"

Before Bonnie could speak, Stefan spoke for the first time. "Bonnie's right. We have to try. The real Damon is in there somewhere."

Enzo cupped his face in his hands. "Why do you have so many papers?" he asked Bonnie, reaching for her first letter to Damon and opening it, Stefan had pulled the letter from his grasp before Bonnie could. And that's when she realised. Stefan knew.

Enzo glared at Stefan.

"What? You never learned not to look through people's things?" Stefan asked with a small smile.

Enzo rolled his eyes. "I'll be at the bar next door. Talk to me when you guys have figured out how exactly we are going to de-monster your brother." And with that, he kissed Bonnie and left the tiny apartment.

Stefan waited until Enzo was safely out of earshot before speaking. He seemed to have read Bonnie's mind, because he said, "I've known since Enzo and Damon first disappeared."

Bonnie felt a worm in her throat. "How," she croaked, tears threatening to pour out of her eyes.

"I saw you writing a letter the night of their disappearance. And when I asked Caroline what you were writing out of curiosity, she said that she'd seen you writing plenty and that she'd found a stack of them. She'd managed to read one. The first one, I believe, when Damon had left without saying goodbye."

Bonnie cursed herself for leaving the letters where people could read them. "Things have changed since then. I'm with Enzo, now. I love him. No matter what happens, he'll never leave me like Damon did."

Stefan nodded slightly as if he'd just figured something out. "I saw your face when it was me at the door instead of Damon. Of course you love Enzo, but he's not the only one, is he?"

"That's none of your business," Bonnie growled. "Don't you ever tell me how I feel again, understand?"

Stefan was a little taken-aback and it showed on his face.

"I'm sorry, Bonnie. But it's okay to love two people, just ask Enzo."

"What do you mean?" asked Bonnie, her heart beating fast. She was shocked at how different Stefan was acting. Perhaps it had something to do with living without Damon. Maybe it had that kind of effect on him.

"I mean that Enzo knows what woke him up."

Note: What woke Enzo up is a bit of a mystery, but don't worry, you'll find out next time. ;) REVIEW, PLEASEEEEE


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Note: Don't own any of these characters.

Damon didn't know who he was anymore. Most of the time, he wasn't himself. He was what the monster had made him. He was a slave to darkness. His mind had it's moments though, when it switched back on. When that happened, he thought about the people he had left behind. Stefan. Ric. But most of all, Bonnie. God, they were finally getting somewhere and he'd screwed it up. He'd gone looking for Elena even though he knew in his heart she wasn't really there. He knew it was an illusion. He was a selfish fool that had cost Enzo his freedom. Bonnie had lost the man she loves because of him.

Now, he was having one of those moments when his soul flashed back into his body and he wasted no time grabbing a pen. With shaking hands, he quickly wrote down:

I'm sleepwalking through life. I wake up every once in a while with blood on my hands. Blood of people I don't recall killing. Enzo is gone. I am alone.

The pen dropped to the table, and BAM! He was somewhere else. He was in the kitchen of the Salvatore Mansion. He rolled his eyes. He knew exactly what had happened. His body was now, once again in the control of someone else. _Something_ else.

He looked down and was surprised when he saw a pan. Pancakes. He looked at the counter next to it. A newspaper dated _1994._ Was he in the prison world?

"Great," Damon growled as he picked up a spatula and flipped a pancake miserably. "A hell within a hell. Really? Give a guy a break, Satan."

"Talking to yourself again?" called an all too familiar voice from the dining table.

Damon's chest was on fire when he looked up.

"Bonnie?"

Damon had been in many different places since he'd lost control of his mind. But never had anyone else been with him.

"Nice observation," she rolled her eyes. "Ugh, I hate pancakes."

Damon stared at her as she pulled the newspaper from the counter and turned to the crossword page.

"9, across…" she began but then noticed him staring at her. "Those pancakes are going to burn."

He picked up the pan and flung it across the room.

"Damon?" she asked, concerned.

"You're not real!"

"Have you lost your mind?"

He looked up at the ceiling. "Real low, Satan!"

"You're freaking me out."

Damon flung plates all around the room, one after another.

"Damon," Bonnie screamed and he stopped throwing plates. God, he still listened to her even when she was a hallucination. "Explain."

"Oh, you want me to explain, Bonnie? I am possessed by a freak of a monster, trapped in a FREAKING dream that I can't wake up from until the monster lets me, and now that Enzo is gone, I'm alone here! Now, for God's sake, get out of my head!" He turned his back. In a flash of a second, she was next to him. He turned his head, his face so close to hers that he tensed up.

"Why are you here?" he asked, sadly.

"You tell me."

He chose to not say anything in response.

"Isn't it curious that this is the first time since this monster took you over that you've seen another person in your dreams?"  
He was perplexed. "Wha-?"

"Think about it, Damon. Face the truth. It might be scary, but trust me, when you start to see it, this mystery will be as easy to solve as that crossword puzzle. And it's the only way you're ever getting out of here."

He stared at her, confusedly. He had no idea what she was talking about.

"And the good news is," she smiled. "You have me to coach you through it!" she handed him a paper and a pen.

He stared daggers at her. He didn't want to solve this 'mystery' but if it could actually get him out of there, he had to try.

"What do you want me to do with this?"

"Hmm…" Bonnie scratched her chin. "Let's start with a letter. How about an apology to me."

His heart stung. "To 'figment of my imagination Bonnie' or my Bonnie?"

He could have sworn her eyes lit up when he said, "my Bonnie,".

"Does it really matter? Just write about how you felt knowing you'd hurt me… us."

"You want me to write a letter nobody's every going to read."

"I'm going to read it," she sounded hurt.

"I'll ask again," he frowned. "You want me to write a letter to nobody?"

She rolled her eyes. "Do you want to get out of here or not, Salvatore?"

Damon sneered and began writing.

Dear Bonnie,

Your evil counterpart is making me write this.

Bonnie stopped him. "Damon, seriously. Write what you feel."

"I feel that you are evil."

Bonnie hit him over the head with the newspaper.

Dear Bonnie,

Your evil counterpart is making me write this I'm sorry I hurt you. I really, really am. I'm sorry I showed up at your door three years later. I didn't expect anything, but still, it was wrong. I should've left you alone. The truth is, I'm selfish. So, I'm sorry, Bonnie. For everything.

Bonnie blew a rasberry. "Do you really think we care how sorry you are. We want an explanation!"

Dear Bonnie,

Your evil counterpart is making me write this I'm sorry I hurt you. I really, really am. I'm sorry I showed up at your door three years later. I didn't expect anything, but still, it was wrong. I should've left you alone. The truth is, I'm selfish. So, I'm sorry, Bonnie. For everything. Being without Elena made me dangerous. Especially to you. I wanted more than anything for her to wake up, but I realised none of that mattered if I didn't have you. I know you think I chose myself. I know you think I was too weak to say goodbye. Maybe, on some level I was. But, really, I did what I thought was right for you. I wanted want you to live a happy life, with or without me. The way I saw it, I was doing you a favor. I see now, that I was wrong. Again, I'm sorry I hurt you.

Damon looked up at Bonnie and saw a flicker of frustration in her eyes. For the first time, he considered the possibility that this was somehow the real Bonnie.

"This is going to take longer than I thought," she muttered.

"Don't tell me I have to write more," Damon said. "Please tell me this is enough."

"It's a start," she said. "See you soon,"

And then Damon was him again. He could taste human blood in his mouth, but he didn't care. He looked down at his hands and found the letter he had written. Without thinking twice about it, he stuffed it in the back of a drawer, so that when he went back to the dream-world, the monster wouldn't find it.

Note: Second chapter in the day! Hope you guys like this one, if you do please review because it took me a while to finish. As you can see, the chapters are getting steadily larger. This one is my personal favourite so far. We finally get to see Damon's side of things. Next chapter, we see what's going on with Enzo, Bonnie and Stefan and the mystery begins to unfold. I'd love to hear some of your theories! Who is the 'Bonnie' in Damon's dream? What got Enzo to wake up? Why is he hiding it from Bonnie? Why is Stefan acting so strange? GO REVIEW NOW!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Note: Guys, I'm so sorry that this one's really short :( It's getting pretty hard to write from Bonnie's perspective. Next chapter is Damon's and it will be muchhhhh longer, I promise. This chapter's purpose was simply to introduce the plot. The next Bonnie chapter will be longer and really delve into the action. Also, you already know, I don't own any of these characters but I like controlling them :) That sounded creepy... Anyway, I'd like to dedicate this whole chapter to PrincessAle, whose review is responsible for this entire chapter! Thank you, you made my day.

"I mean that Enzo knows what woke him up."

Bonnie stared at Stefan, perplexed and a little scared.

"Stefan…?"

"I'm sorry, Bonnie," said Stefan, genuinely. "Lily…" he trailed off.

"Lily? Your mother, Lily?"

"She's who woke him up," Stefan said somberly. He sounded emotionless, but she knew better.

"I –" Bonnie stared at him, trying hard to mask her jealousy. "I'm sorry, Stefan, that must be really hard for you. She's back, isn't she?

Stefan was surprised. "No, actually. According to Enzo, he flashed back into his real body for seconds at a time. Otherwise, he was in a dream world. The scene usually changed each time. First, he was alone, without any other person. Then, one day, Lily appeared."

Stefan paused and his expression softened when he saw Bonnie's reaction. She didn't look jealous or scared at all, simply curious.

"Continue."

"Enzo didn't tell me the details; said he didn't want to talk about it. All I know is that somehow, my mother's presence, her voice, gradually helped increase the amount of time he had in his body. Each time he woke up for more seconds than the last time. He gained control over his body, slowly, eventually waking up completely."

"Why Lily?" she asked.

Stefan pursed his lips. "We think… we think it's because…"

"Because she's who he loves."

"Look, Bonnie, I'm sorry that I was so rash. But like I said earlier, it's possible to love two people at once."

She nodded, her tinge of jealousy fading into concern. "What about Damon?"

"We think that he's probably experiencing the same thing Enzo did. Hallucinations of the one person that can get him out of there. The person he loves the most. The person his soul is willing to fight for."

 _The person he loves the most._ "Elena," Bonnie said. She felt another, stronger pang of jealousy but she didn't allow it to stay.

Stefan nodded. He looked concerned. "We think it's her."

"So," Bonnie said, deep in thought. "We need to bring Elena to him."

"We can't endanger her," he sighed. "As much as I want Damon back, Elena has to come first. He'll never forgive us if she doesn't."

"But won't he just eventually snap out of it and wake up?" Bonnie asked. "Like Enzo Did?"

"Come on, Bonnie. You know Damon as well as I do. He's stubborn, and if he isn't already awake, chances are…"

"He's fighting it," Bonnie interrupted. "Why?"

Stefan shrugged.

"What are we going to do, Stefan?"

"Well," Stefan said with a sad smile. "Me and Enzo are going to figure it out."

Bonnie saw his hesitation.

"And you," Stefan sighed. "Sorry, Bonnie, you're going to stay here."

Bonnie was outraged. "Why?"

"You've had a lot going on, Bonnie and me and Enzo decided it's best if you stay here."

Bonnie stood up and turned away from him.

"Listen, Bonnie…"

"No, you listen to me, Stefan. You don't get to decide what I do. I may not have powers anymore, I may be tired and not thinkinig straight, but I'll be damned if you get to decide my actions. I'm coming with you."

"No, Bonnie," Stefan shook his head, solemnly. "You're staying here." He got up and pulled the door open. "I really am sorry. We just…can't risk it."

When Stefan was gone, Bonnie collapsed on her mattress. She knew Stefan was right. Bonnie didn't have her magic. She would just drag Enzo and Stefan down.

Bonnie thought for a moment about the new information Stefan had given her. Enzo had seen Lily. Lily had helped him become himself again. And Elena was probably helping Damon. But why was he fighting it?

Bonnie pushed away her thoughts and pulled out the second sheet of paper in the stack.

Dear Damon,

It's been a couple months since you left. I don't know what it's like to dessicate in a coffin, but I'm guessing it's not that great. Meanwhile, here I am, here _we_ are: Me, Stefan and everyone else you left behind. Here _we_ are, dealing with our problems instead of running from them. Here we are, constantly facing threats, but _surviving_. And there you are, taking a nice big nap, waiting for me to die so you can wake up.

I just thought you ought to know that I don't regret my decision. Not for a second. You didn't and still don't deserve to say goodbye. I will _never_ read that letter you wrote me and believe me, it's probably for the best. It would only make me more angry.

I was right about you the first time, Damon. I never should have thought you could be anything other than selfish.

Bonnie remembered exactly when she had written it. She was angry. Furious. Enzo had just saved her from the armoury, and yet, all she could think about was the letter that had been on her desk. It had been her decision not to throw it out, but it still seemed like an obnoxious reminder of the power Damon had over. She was furious, not only at Damon, but also at herself. Why hadn't she thrown that letter out?

Bonnie neatly tucked all the letters back into the drawers. Oh how she regretted never truly finding it in her to forgive him.

She sighed. She knew that Stefan and Enzo had been right not to let her come with them. But, here's the thing, when it came to Damon, her concept of right and wrong blurred into oblivion. Every single time.

She opened another drawer and pulled out her gun of wooden bullets.

If she couldn't help them find Damon, she would have to do it herself.

Note: Please, please, PLEASE leave a review. Just getting one a day makes me sooooooo happy xD Chapter 5 will be out soon!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

 **Note: I worked really hard on this chapter! Hope you like it, if you did, please review and tell me what you think! Also, don't own any of these characters.**

Damon had five minutes.

He flapped his hands around frantically, wondering what to do. He had to make the most of the time he had in the real world, before he returned to Dream Bonnie. He'd been trapped in the dream world with Bonnie twice now, and he was losing patience. Both times, she'd made him write letters to Bonnie and both times they had appeared in his hand when he woke up. Something was going on, he knew it. For some reason, though, he hated being around Dream Bonnie. As much as he missed Real Bonnie, and loved hearing her voice again, something about seeing Bonnie in his dreams made him uneasy. As if his mind was trying to tell him something he didn't want to hear.

BAM! In a second he was back in the dream world, this time in the woods.

Bonnie stood against a tree.

"Took you long enough," she said casually. "Now, where were we?" She handed him a piece of paper, the one he'd written his second letter on. He read through it.

Dear Bonnie,

This is the second letter I've written to nobody and yet, somehow, it's okay. In some way, it's okay that you'll never read this because I know that if you did it wouldn't make a difference. This does not even begin to clear my conscience and regret will never cease to flow through my veins. But, I've come to realise that I can't take back what I did. I can't take back the pain I caused you no matter how much I wish I can. Somehow, you're here with me, Bonnie. A figment of my imagination, but still, you're here. And the thing is, I know if it were really you, we would be out of here already.

Damon flinched at the sincerity of his words. He didn't even know he felt that way until he wrote it down.

"More letters?" he croaked.

"Not today," Bonnie said, observing the strange look on his face. "Let's just talk."

 _Talk?_

"About what?" Damon asked, raising an eyebrow.

"About why I'm here," she said. "I'd like to know."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," she said, rolling her eyes. "Why am _I_ here? Why me?"

"I feel like you know more than I do, Bonnie," he said, shrugging, seemingly carelessly. She crossed her legs and sat down, resting the back of her head against the tree.

"Okay," he said, sensing that she wasn't going to let him do anything unless he gave her an answer. "I guess you're here with me because you're my _best friend_."

The words tasted unfamiliar, even though he'd said them before. They felt _wrong_.

Bonnie tilted her head to the side, like she so often did. Damon couldn't help but crack a smile. It was something he'd barely paid attention to in the past, and yet, here he was, hallucinating it.

"Alaric's your best friend too," Bonnie said softly. "Stefan's your brother and Elena…" she trailed off. "Elena's the one you love."

Damon saw uncertainty in her eyes when she said the last bit. She was in his mind; his hallucination. Was _he_ uncertain about that?

"I don't know," Damon said, unsure. "I don't know why you're here, Bonnie."

Bonnie sighed, looking him in the eyes. "I'm going to ask you the question I asked you three years ago when you left."

Damon nodded, knowing what was coming. The question hadn't left his mind since that day.

"Are we friends?" she asked. "No insults, no jokes. Are we _friends_?"

Damon hesitated. The look on her face mirrored his, uncertain and afraid.

"Yes."

"Wrong," she said, shaking her head. "Damon, are you friends with Alaric?"

"Yes," he said, truthfully.

"If his life was tied to Elena's like mine is, would you even think twice before killing him?"

Damon was taken aback. "I wouldn't do that." He forced his eyes to look elsewhere. At the tree, at the ground, anywhere but at her.  
"Yes," Bonnie said, sadly. "You would. You're lying to a part of your mind, but I know the truth."

"What are you saying?"

"Damon," she said, grabbing his hand. "Look at me."

His piercing blue eyes turned to look at her brown ones. Suddenly, he knew.

"It –" He looked away, pulling his hand back. "It can't be."  
"You broke my heart in more ways than I thought possible," she said. "But you saved me in even more ways than than that." Suddenly, she stood up. Her face was so close to his. Too close, but he didn't pull away. Jolts of electricity passed between them even though they didn't touch.

"I'll only ask one more time, Damon," Bonnie said, touching his fingers once more. "Are we friends?"

Damon didn't know the answer. He didn't want to know the answer. "Yes." He pulled away.

Bonnie looked disappointed. She peered into his eyes. "Damon, how many sessions have we had?"

He frowned. "Two."

She shook her head. "Try eighteen."

"How-?"

She handed him a stack of letters. He counted them. Seventeen; eighteen if you counted the one in his hand.

"Sixteen of those times, you erased the memory, somehow. Your mind blocked it out. But those memories are still there, beneath the surface. One day, your mind just started allowing them in. You're almost there."

Damon stared at her, in shock. "Enough," he said. "Enough riddles. Tell me how this is helping me escape."

Bonnie sighed but nodded. "The monster that possesses you sends your soul to this dream - like world. There's only one loophole – only one way to escape. Love. Two sessions ago, when you stopped forgetting me, the ice began to thaw. I'm sure you noticed that you started to get more time in your body."

Damon raised an eyebrow.

"That's because whether you like it or not, whether you accept it or not, Bonnie Bennett is the only person, supernatural or human, alive or dead, or – hell – in a sleeping beauty coma, that can bring you back. No matter how far you travel away from the real you, no matter what heinous crimes your unconcious self commits, she _can_ bring you back."

Damon was speechless. "I love Elena," was all he could manage to say.

"I know you do," said Dream Bonnie with a sad smile. "I'm sorry I had to bring all of this up. You couldn't possibly understand."

He was more confused than he'd ever been in his life.

"Bye, Damon," She said, and walked off into the sunset without looking back.

"Wha- Bonnie?" He began following her, but before he knew it, she was vapour. Gone. Just like that.

He thought he would feel relieved that he no longer had to confront his 'feelings', now that she was gone. But he wasn't. Somehow, her leaving didn't change a thing. She was now replaced by a little voice in his head, repeating her words over and over.

"Are we friends?"

He let himself fall limp against the tree as he ripped open a random letter in the stack she'd given him. It was numbered, 'session 4'.

Dear Bonnie,

You never forgave me. Not really. In some sick way, that makes me happy. I'm glad you never did. I didn't deserve it. I swear to god, though, Bonnie, if I ever get out of here, I will earn your forgiveness. I promise.

He pulled out another one.

'Session 10'

Dear Bonnie,

I don't know why you're here with me, but you are. At least I'm hallucinating you. By the way, my hallucination of you is EXTREMELY annoying. Anyway, today's our first 'session' as she calls it and apparently there's going to be plenty more. I'm not sure what she wants me to write. 'Feelings,' did she say?

I guess I'm angry because I'm trapped here,

Sad because I miss everyone (except the whiny blonde one),

And annoyed because Dream Bonnie insulted my pancakes.

The change between the two letters was insane. Evidently, some days he was 'Depressing Damon' and other days he was 'Real Damon.'

Damon then pulled out the last letter in the stack, curious to see what had happened in 'session 16'.

He frowned when he saw the beginning of the letter. It was addressed to him.

Dear Damon,

If you're reading this, Dream Bonnie gave you the letters – again. It's supposedly session 16, but I feel like it's session 1 and that's probably how you feel, too. I think Bonnie finally lost patience and decided to tell me what was going on. Now that I know, I feel… different. I don't know how I feel. I'm not going to remember this. _You're_ not going to remember this. Bonnie – Real Bonnie is how we're getting out of here. Dream Bonnie didn't tell me anything, but I think I figured that much out from the letters. It's up to you now, Damon of the future. Get us out of here. I don't care how. I don't care if you have to meditate for 80 hours straight. Don't be stubborn. Find a way. Please.

Damon sighed as he read it. Past Damon didn't know how to get out. Present Damon did, and yet, neither could do it. Damon sifted through the letters until he found one piece of paper unlike the others.

A list of your moods in each session:

Session 1: Angry

Session 2: Angry

Session 3: Sad

Session 4: Sad

Session 5: Angry

Session 6: Scared

Session 7: Angry

Session 8: Angrier than usual

Session 9: Annoyingly Sarcastic and Angry

Session 10: Annoyingly Saracastic and Angry

Session 11: Sadder than usual

Session 12: Angry

Session 13: Suicidal

Session 14: Angry, Sad, Scared

Session 15: Happy?

Session 16: More understanding than usual (I showed you the letters)

Session 17: Angry

Session 18: Sad

Session 19: Hopefully our last session. Either way, I don't need to be here anymore.

Damon read the last line and screamed out loud in frustration. She _did_ need to be here. He couldn't figure this out on his own. He couldn't!

He threw the papers all around the woods. He wanted to destroy the sunset. How dare it be so calm when he was the opposite?

"Bonnie!" he yelled his lungs out. "I need you!" He collapsed, realising with a painful jerk to the gut how alone he was now.

 **Note for next chapter: Next chapter will be following Bonnie. Prepare yourselves to be INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATED. Thanks for reading, hope you reviewed!**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

 **Note: Don't own characters. Sorry the Bonnie chapters are so short, it's because up until now I haven't quite known what my intentions are for her. However, now I do, and the plot has began to be set up in this chapter. Also, I'd like to dedicate this to two of my lovely guest reviewers, Alaska Cullen and Arabella Wilson, without you, I wouldn't have had the motivation to finish this chapter early! Thank you all for reading! Be sure to leave a review and tell me what you thought about this chapter and what you think is going to happen in the future ones.**

"One plane ticket to London, please."

The old lady at the counter nodded and ever-so-slowly began to sift through Bonnie's paperwork.

Bonnie grabbed everything as soon as she could and sprinted through security (keeping her gun hidden in an enchanted bag that her grandmother had given her).

She somehow managed to board the plane on time.

Her fellow economy passengers glared at her as she anxiously tapped her chipped fingernails on the arm of her seat. She didn't care. She was going to find Damon.

She had no idea what she was doing. All she knew was that it was painfully idiotic. It wasn't like Bonnie to be this impulsive, but then again, Damon had that effect on her. She'd always thought he brought out the worst in her. It was only when he left that she realised his _absence_ brought out the worst in her.

Bonnie cursed herself. Here she was, Bonnie Bennett, on a seven hour flight to London with no money, no plan, no clue what her next move was. It was completely out of character, and yet, it was the first time in months that Bonnie had felt like herself.

Hours passed. The plane's lights had been switched off. The other passengers were all asleep. The man next to Bonnie had unknowingly planted his head on Bonnie's shoulder. He was now snoring obnoxiously.

Bonnie envied him. He was probably on vacation. He was probably only visiting London to see the London Eye or the Buckingham Palace. She wished she had that luxury.

Finally, with two hours remaining on the flight, Bonnie closed her eyes, hard and forced her mind to switch off. Surprisingly, for the first time in days, it worked. Her mind finally took a break.

Bonnie opened her eyes. The first thing she saw was a newspaper. Instantly, she knew where she was. She looked up and surely enough, there _he_ was, flipping pancakes, oblivious to the fact that she was there.

"Damon?" she asked, although she knew it was him by his fierce blue eyes that stared down at the pan. There was no response. She frowned. Suddenly, he looked up, but not at her. His eyes stared directly at the door and his bored expression turned to a look of pure joy. Bonnie stared at him in confusion for a second before seeing _her_.

"There's my girl," said Damon, abandoning the pancakes and rushing to the door to greet Elena. They kissed. Bonnie felt a pang of jealousy so strong she could taste it. What was even worse was that she saw the love that was in Damon's eyes. So strong. So intense. And he couldn't even see Bonnie.

She knew it was a dream but she couldn't help but wonder if that's truly how it was. Did he really not see her? Not care about her?

Then why did she care about him?

Bonnie thought she would feel rested once she had gotten some sleep, but if anything she was more exhausted than ever. The dream had kept her mind spinning, even in sleep, and now, with a few minutes more before the plane landed, she wondered if she shouldn't have come.

She put her palm against her face, frustratedly. She told herself again and again that she didn't love Damon anymore. That she was only trying to help him because she needed closure.

She wiped an involuntary tear of frustration off her cheek. The woman that sat on the other side of her glanced over and said, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Bonnie lied, faking a smile. "I just… get like this when planes land."

The lady gave her a sympathetic look. "You can tell me. I'm a therapist, I'm sure I hear much worse."

Bonnie laughed. "I doubt it."

Then suddenly there was a loud sound as the plane landed. The lady got up and grabbed her bags.

"Come on," she said sweetly. "You can tell me on the way out."

Bonnie was hesitant but somehow the woman's kind brown eyes made her want to tell her everything.

"I'm in London for a friend," she said, as she waited for the doors to open. "He sort of left without saying goodbye and I was angry. Really angry. So angry that for three years, I couldn't push past that cloud of anger to see the rest of the picture. And when I finally got to a place where I was willing to push past it, he sort of fell off the edge. He changed, completely. He became a monster." Bonnie stopped to observe the woman's facial expression. She now wore a sad smile on her face.

"And you're in London to _fix_ him?"

Bonnie hesitated, realising how ridiculous that sounded. "Yes, I guess I am."

"Do you think you can?"

"No," Bonnie said, honestly. "No, I don't. There is someone who can, but she's… gone."

"Gone? Has she passed?" The woman asked curiously.

"No, she's alive."

"Okay," The woman pondered for a second. "How much do you care about this _friend_ of yours?"

Bonnie smiled. This she was sure of. "A lot."

"And you would do anything to bring him back?"

"Yes."

"The solution seems very simple to me, dear." The lady brushed Bonnie's shoulder affectionately. "If this girl can bring the real him back, bring her to him."

Bonnie wanted to protest. She wanted to say that it was nowhere near that easy, but then she realised it was. It _was_ that easy to bring him back.

Bonnie smiled sadly. "Thank you." The lady nodded and walked toward the exit of the plane.

Bonnie stood there for a moment, thinking. Elena was the only one who could bring Damon back, but the only way Elena could come back was for Bonnie to die.

Suddenly, she knew what she was going to do.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

 **Note: Don't own any of the characters. I'd like to dedicate this 'short but surprising' chapter to my repeated reviewers, Damon's Sexy Witch and PrincessAle. You guys made this chapter possible! Thank you. Everyone, don't forget to review and let me know what you think of this chapter! Enjoy!**

Damon dreaded returning to the dream world. He'd been in there with Bonnie twice… that he remembered. But now he knew that he'd actually been there many more times and his mind had just chosen to ignore it. He knew now that the only thing worse than being trapped with Dream Bonnie was being trapped without her.

Before, he'd only be in his body for seconds at a time, at the most a minute or two. Now, he found himself having 5-10 minutes at a time, enough to explore his surroundings.

"5 Minutes," Damon predicted as his dream ended and he was back in his body. He pulled the room apart, looked for clues, looked for ways he could escape, but he couldn't find anything. He let out a furious yell and then immediately regretted it. What if someone heard him?

Every drawer in the room was soon spilled all over the room. Every drawer except one. The one where Damon kept _the letters_. A fat stack of letters he'd written to Bonnie and one piece of paper that kept the record of his moods throughout the 'sessions'.

When all else failed, Damon carefully opened the door to the room, something he'd never done, out of fear. He saw a scarcely lit hallway with no other rooms, just darkness. It was completely silent. Damon felt a strange feeling in his gut.

Fear?

Suddenly, he wished he could go back to the dream world already.

 _Footsteps._

Damon stood transfixed, as though someone was making him stay there. A lady walked into the dark corridor and walked toward him. She had kind brown eyes, but something told Damon she was anything but.

"Damon Salvatore," she said with a kind smile as she approached him. "I've heard quite a great deal about you from your friend Bonnie Bennett." Damon felt anger rising in him.

"What did you do to her?" he growled.

The lady looked taken-aback. "Nothing! I was sitting next to her on the plane to London earlier today, is all! That's where you are, by the way."

Damon's anger turned to pain as he thought of Bonnie, the person he'd hurt the most in the world, still wanting to help him. He didn't deserve her help. "Bonnie's here?" he asked, sadly.

The lady touched his shoulder. "Well, she _was_."

"What do you mean, 'she _was_ '?" Damon had never felt this scared in his entire life.

She checked her watch. "Oh! Looks like our time is almost up." She then began to walk back down the corridor. Damon's vision began to fade as he watched her casually stroll back the way that she came. Then, without warning he was far away from there. Far away from London. He was in mystic falls, this time at the grill. He was completely and utterly alone. He hoped with all his heart that Dream Bonnie would come back. That she would explain everything to him. Real Bonnie was in London, looking for him? Or was she?

Damon sat down in one of the booths and prompty slammed his face into the table.

He knew how he was going to get out of here but he really didn't want to think about it. Not now. Yet, some part of his mind forced these dreaded thoughts into him, not allowing him to ignore them.

 _Bonnie was the only one who could bring him back._

 _Bonnie._

 _Why?_

He knew the answer.

 _Bonnie had travelled to London to help him._

 _Bonnie._

 _Why?_

Again, he knew the answer.

He knew the answer to everything, even when he didn't want to. He couldn't stop his mind from thinking about her.

He shrugged the thoughts off and instead went to the bar and grabbed a cheap bottle of bourbon. He sighed. He poured it all into his mouth, relishing the taste, even if it was a hallucination.

After what seemed like minutes (but what Damon guessed was actually hours) Damon woke up again. The lady was watching him, a beaming smile on her face.

"Damon, you're back. Good." Despite her unbreaking happy facial expression, Damon knew she didn't think it was very 'good' that he was back already.

"What happened to Bonnie?" Damon asked firmly, staring the woman in the eyes.

"Is this Bonnie your girlfriend?"

Damon was taken aback. "I – No!"

The woman looked amused. She muttered something under her breath and suddenly Damon felt compelled to tell her everything.

"Is she your girlfriend?"

"No," Damon said, truthfully.

"Is she the one you've been seeing in your dreams?"

"Yes," Damon said, finding himself unable to lie. He tried fighting it, but this woman's powers were too strong. "Didn't you already know that?" Damon growled.

"Yes, of course," The woman said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Do you love her?" she said, matter – of – factly.

Damon kept himself from answering, somehow. "What?"

The lady looked suddenly interested. "Are you in _love_ with Bonnie Bennett?"

Damon tensed when he heard her name. He tried to keep the word from escaping from his mouth. With every fibre of his being he held it back. But it wasn't sighed. And before he was even completely sure of his answe, the truth escaped him. "Yes."

The woman laughed, a cruel high-pitched laugh. "That's too bad."

Damon suddenly felt all the pressure release from his chest. He didn't need to be truthful anymore.

"What do you mean?"

"If I could be sorry, I assure you, Damon, I would be," she said, faking a sad face. "See, the thing is…"

 _Oh no. Don't say it. Please don't say it._

"Bonnie Bennett is dead."

 _She said it._


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

 **Note: I think this is my longest Bonnie chapter yet! I'm a bit disappointed with the lack of reviews since last chapter :( hopefully ya'll are still enjoying it. So, no dedication for this chapter. :'(**

Bonnie stared down at her phone. 13 calls from Enzo. She grimaced, guiltily. He was so worried about her. He cared so much about her and yet here she was prepared to end her life over someone who didn't care at all. Was she really going to do this?

She looked around the cheap hotel room. Not much she could use. Not much at all. At best a blunt pair of scissors or a jagged shard of broken glass from the cracked mirror. Bonnie Bennett was not going to die like that. Of all the ways she could die, she could not, would not, let herself go out with a piece of glass to the carotid. She, again, scanned the room, finding a bottle of cheap, old red wine and not much else. She took a sip of it. Not _good_ , but not _horrible_ , either. If only she had some poison, she would take a dip into the cockroach infested waters of the tiny, shallow tub in the dirty bathroom and drink the wine. Get it over with.

 _Get it over with?_

Get her _life_ over with?

End it all in a hotel room, where the only witnesses to her demise would be insects and the last thing her tired eyes would be able to grasp view of would be a tacky tiled wall?

Bonnie took a swig of the wine. And another. And another. And before she could stop herself, the bottle was over. If she had to die, she'd decided she was going to do it with a drunkenly stupid smile on her face.

Bonnie stumbled out the door of the hotel, not in the least bothered by the judgemental stare of the receptionist.

"You okay, ma'am?" the receptionist asked, evidentally more curious than concerned.

"Peachy," she said and then frowned. "Huh, that sounded like Damon." She sobered up for a second before returning to her drunken state. Then she barrelled out the door and onto the street where it was drizzling.

"Any chance this is poison?" she said out loud with a giggle, sticking her tongue out to catch the raindrops. _Wow_ , she was drunk.

"Bonnie?" a voice called.

Bonnie focused her blurred vision in the direction of the voice. The lady from the airport.

Strange. She didn't remember telling her her name.

"HI!" Bonnie said, unable to say anything else due to her drunk state.

"Oh dear," The lady said, shaking her head. "You're drunk, aren't you? Hope this wasn't because of the _advice_ I gave you earlier."  
Bonnie tensed up, suddenly recalling why she got drunk in the first place. "Home," she said. "I need to get home."

"Nonsense! You can't take care of yourself in this state! Come with me, I'll get you sobered up. Here, we can take my car."

Bonnie did as she said, although she was beginning to sober up, and _fast_.

"Bonnie, you seem like a nice girl," said the woman, whilst driving. "I wanted to give you a shot to end things your own way, but you didn't, did you?"

Bonnie's eyes widened, suddenly realising what was about to happen. She wanted to open the car door and jump out, but the car was going so fast and she was so drunk that she feared she would never make it. She tried to think, but her drunk mind kept making her think about the fact that neither her nor the lady were wearing seatbelts. So unsafe!

Then, she knew what she was going to do.

CLICK!

The driver's seat door was open before Bonnie could think.

SLAM!

The lady was out the car, before she even noticed the door was open.

Bonnie jumped into the driver's seat and drove as far as she could away from that place.

An hour passed.

Bonnie was exhausted, but thankfully, on the sober side. It was dark night and she drove through the London streets searching for somewhere to stop.

 _Could_ she stop?

Why did they want to kill her?

Would they find her?

Bonnie didn't know. All she knew was that if they _did_ find her, she wouldn't be 'drunk, defenseless Bonnie'.

She stared determinedly at the road as she promised herself that she would _never_ be that vulnerable again. At that moment, she swore to god that if they _did_ find her, she would be their worst nightmare.

A while later, Bonnie pulled up to yet, another hotel. She didn't know where she was, nor did she care. Luckily, she'd brought her bag along when she embarked on that fateful 'walk'. She had money in it. Not much, but hopefully enough. She flung the sachel on the reception counter, hoping that it's contents were enough.

"Sorry, ma'am, we're going to need a bit more than that," the receptionist said, chewing gum absentmindedly. Bonnie rolled her eyes and with a flick of the wrist, pulled out her knife and pointed it directly at the girl's neck.

Bonnie settled into her room. After the incident with the receptionist, she would definitely have to be out by morning, before the lady snitched on her. For now, though, she collapsed on the bed exhaustedly and let her mind wander.

Did the lady have something to do with Damon being unable to wake up.

Bonnie guessed, yes.

If she did, then why did she want Bonnie to die? If Bonnie died, Elena would wake up and Damon would have a better chance at coming back.

Nothing made sense.

Bonnie tried not to think about Damon. Instead, she thought about the lady. Had she been a vampire? Unlikely. She wasn't quick enough to stop Bonnie from opening the door. Most likely, she was a witch. Bonnie recalled how she'd had this inexplicable feeling around her: like she had to divulge every secret of hers to this womana. She was a very powerful, persuasive witch. One who's powers had been somehow enhanced.

How?

Bonnie had a very strong feeling that this woman didn't want Damon to wake up. She had no evidence of this, but she had an inkling. Her mind wandered back to Damon.

How would her death keep him asleep?

Bonnie had two theories in her head, both of which made her long for that thick, old red wine again.

She had been wrong and the lady was trying to _help_ Damon wake up by bringing Elena back.

Or…

Bonnie was the way to wake Damon up, not Elena.

All of a sudden everything was clear.

Why Damon was fighting waking up.

Why the lady wanted Bonnie dead.

Bonnie jumped to her feet, in shock.

 _No time_.

 _No time to think._

 _No time to dwell._

Bonnie was back in the woman's car before she had time to blink.

 **Note: Please review and let me know what you think! It means a lot. My goal before posting next chapter is 20 reviews, so that's just 3 more. Fingers crossed!**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Dedication: babekitt, for asking some amazing questions in her review. So happy to know you're interested.

 **Note: "I would like to know if this woman truly is a witch. if so, is the thing that took over Damon some type of spell or is it a possession of an evil spirit. Can it be done away with for good? Will Bonnie get her powers back?" babekitt asked these questions so I thought I'd answer them. I will confirm that the woman is a witch, but her powers have been enhanced (the reason will be explained soon). The thing that took over Damon isn't a spell, but a spirit that was kept inside the vault of the armoury. As for if it can be destroyed, you will just have to wait and see ;) Bonnie... see, that's where it gets a little more complicated ;)) keep reading 3 ALSO, THANK YOUUUU FOR 24 REVIEWS AND 1000+ VIEWS! THIS MADE MY DAY!**

 _No._

 _No, no, no, no._

 _She was lying._

Damon repeated the same thoughts over and over again, hoping one would stick and he would start to truly believe it. How could she be dead? After everything he'd done to her, everything he'd done to fix the damage, everything he'd done to save her, how could she be gone now? His mind flew into disarray. He couldn't seem to leave the dream world. It was as if what was keeping him awake was gone. But Damon refused to believe it. He refused to beliieve that she was truly… dead.

He was at the salvatore mansion again. This time, though, he could not care less about his surroundings. She was _gone_. Not just Dream Bonnie, Real Bonnie. The one he… loved.

He felt guilt run through him. This is why he'd left her without saying goodbye. He was too afraid to face the fact that he was in love with someone that wasn't Elena. Even worse, one of her best friends.

No matter what happened, even if Bonnie had lived, even if Damon escaped the Dream world, even if she felt the same way, they could never be together and he knew it. She was kind, brave and selfless; all the things Damon was not. He didn't deserve her. In a million years, he never would.

He was a monster. An impulsive coward of a monster and above all things, at this moment, Damon wished Bonnie never bothered boarding the plane to London.

Bonnie had died in London. She was coming to save him. Little did she know he was unsavable.

Suddenly a thought occurred to him.

If Bonnie truly _was_ dead, Elena was awake.

He felt yet another surge of guilt. Everything was his fault. If only he'd accepted how he felt earlier, he may be out of here already. Bonnie would be fine, and he could go live out the rest of his miserable life, leaving Bonnie and Stefan and every other unfortunate soul that cared about him, alone to live their own lives.

 _What had he done?_

There was no time to feel sorry for himself anymore. He needed to get out of this Dream World. He forced himself to think about Bonnie.

 _Bonnie tilts her head to the side like a puppy when she's curious._

 _Bonnie raises one eyebrow when she's confused._

 _When she smiles, her whole face lights up like a lantern (something he used to find annoying but now he could seldom find something more beautiful)._

 _And when she cries… when she cries, it's never just for her._

Damon clenched his eyes tightly, remembering everything from the small freckle on her arm to her voice when she said his name.

 _Damon._

 _Damon._

"Damon," Bonnie said.

Damon's eyes opened with a jerk. He'd hoped he was awake and with Real Bonnie. Sadly, he wasn't awake yet. He was with his good old friend, Dream Bonnie.

An involuntary smile appeared on his face as he looked at her. She smiled back.

"Let's get you back to Bonnie, shall we?" Dream Bonnie said, crossing her arms.

Damon's smile faded. "I – I don't think that's going to happen."

Bonnie frowned. "Why?"

Damon took a deep breath. "Bonnie's dead."

 _She already knew that. I mean come on, she was a part of his imagination!_

"Do you really believe that?"

No, he didn't. Something in his soul kept him from believing it. Maybe it was dilusion or denial. But something told Damon to keep fighting. That she'd be there when he woke up.

"Think about it," she said. Damon rolled his eyes. She wasn't very helpful, but then again, that was probably because she was just repeating what was already in his mind.

Just before Damon closed his eyes to try again, he heard a voice.

"She's alive,"

 _Stefan._

"Wha-?"

"Wake up, she's alive. This is really me." And then he was gone.

Damon looked at Bonnie, grinning wildly.

"It's been fun," she said, kissing him on the cheek and waving goodbye as she walked out of the mansion.

 _This was it._

 _He was getting out of there._

 _Bonnie's alive._

That was all he needed. He didn't need to know if she missed him. He didn't need to know if she was looking for him. He didn't need to know if she felt the same way. She was _alive_.

Damon laughed. In that moment, nothing else mattered.

He watched as the image of the mansion faded into that of a room. A different room to the one he'd previously woken up in. He frowned, but then his smile reappeared when he saw Stefan staring down at him with a small smile on his face.  
"That took less time than expected," Stefan said, surprised.

"Yeah, well, it would have taken a lot more time if it weren't for you," Damon said, grinning. "I missed you, brother."

Stefan's eyes looked weary, despite the smile on his face. Damon could tell that something had happened.

"Where's Bon –" Damon began, but he trailed off as he saw Bonnie open the door softly and smile at him.

"He's awake!" Bonnie said, tears streaming down her face. He smiled. This was _her_.

Damon tried to speak, but for the first time in his life, he was truly rendered speechless. She had the same glow, though her eyes were more tired. She was still as beautiful as the last day he'd seen her. She rushed towards him and hugged him.

"I'm so sorry," she said through her tears.

"About what?" Damon asked, although he knew her answer.

"I should have… I should've forgiven you."

"Bonnie," Damon croaked, finding a lump in his throat. "If you did, I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

Stefan smiled at them. "Sorry, guys. We've got to leave. Now. Before someone finds us."

Damon assumed he was talking about the witch lady.

Damon and Bonnie both jumped to their feet and followed Stefan out of the room.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

 **Dedication: This chapter is for gigiaubs who left a really sweet review. Thank you for your support. In fact, thank you to everyone. I've reached 30+ reviews! You guys are the best. I'd also like to particularly thank Alaska and Arabella for leaving long, detailed reviews again. Keep reading, everyone! 3**

 **Note: I'm sorry everything is a little cramped up in this chapter. I just wanted to give you guys some answers. Sorry in advance for the giant cliffhanger at the end! I'm a horrible person, I know, I know... Also, a lot of you have been saying Bonnie's been really badass in the last few chapters, and I'd just like to say, you haven't seen nothing yet ;) ENJOY READING AND PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW IF YOU LIKED IT!**

Bonnie's mind was only running on adrenaline as she sprinted out of the house with Damon and Stefan. Everything was a giant blur. First, she'd called Stefan, who luckily had, too, been in London, and even luckier, he'd been with Valerie. Valerie did a locator spell on Damon and helped Stefan get through to him before bolting off. Stefan and her had _clearly_ not ended things well.

Somehow, they'd managed to do all this without encountering the woman who tried to kill her, but Bonnie was sure her return was underway. There was no way Bonnie could have killed this all-powerful-mind-controlling-witch-lady by opening a car door.

But it didn't matter.

They had Damon. He was back. He was okay.

The two of them had barely exchanged a word, but she was sure, in time, they would. How could they not, after everything?

The three of them found the entrance to the house quick. Almost too quick. Stefan yanked open the door. Well – tried to, anyway.

"Locked," he whispered, his eyes widening. "Run." They bolted wildly, searching for another way out. Bonnie knew Damon and Stefan could go much faster than that. They were vampires after all. She was holding them back.

"Sorry, guys," Bonnie said through gasps as she ran. "Haven't been on a treadmill in a while."

Damon snorted, and grabbed her hand, pulling her along as he ran (still at human speed).

They found a staircase and without thinking, ran up it. They'd reached what seemed to be a library. A _dead-end_. And then Bonnie saw _her_.

"I've been expecting you," said the lady from behind one of the shelves. "Come," she said. Bonnie's feet obeyed her, even though her mind told her to run. Damon and Stefan found themselves walking toward the lady, too.

"I'm Miranda, by the way. Well, I was."

She _was_?

"Look, lady," Damon said, rolling his eyes. "It's been a long month for me,"

Bonnie shook her head at Damon. It had been much longer.

"Two months?" Damon asked quizzically.

She shook her head again.

"Three?"

She began shaking her head, but the lady interrupted her. "You've been here for a remarkably short while, Damon. Miranda, for one, has been here for decades," she said, gesturing to herself. "Poor thing, lived a horrible life. A young orphan who happened to be a witch without control over her powers. Naturally, she was tossed out on the street more times than she deserved. Wandered the streets of London and ran into something more awful than she ever could imagine. The same thing that posesses you, Damon."

"The monster," Damon whispered, clearly horrified.

"Well, a spirit, really. It brings out the worst in you and locks everything else away. The darkest part of your soul manifests into, yes, a monster. A monster completely unlike yourself. A monster that you know not of, and that knows not of you," she stated this all as if it were just a fact. "The key to releasing the remainder of your soul is something young Miranda never possessed. _Love_." She said the word as if it were the most revolting thing in the world. "The monster brings with it power. An enhanced, occasionally inverted version of your former power. For instance, Miranda was a witch who lacked control of her powers; I am a witch who not only has complete control over my powers, but also complete control of other's. Look." Miranda looked over at Stefan, causing him to dart to the end of the room at vampire speed.

"Very amusing, really," she said, bringing a confused Stefan back next to Damon and Bonnie.

"Hold on," Damon said, his brow furrowed. "Were you in the vault?"

"No," Miranda said with a smile. "But up until recently, I wasn't able to use my powers. I was basically turned back into a regular witch when the armoury imprisoned the spirit. But when the vault opened again, it all came back. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to state my conditions."

Bonnie wouldn't admit it, but she was scared of this woman. Her lack of empathy was evident. Bonnie couldn't help but feel for the poor girl who turned into this monster.

"You have two options," she said, turning to Damon. "Either you leave and they die, or you stay and they are free to leave. Simple."

Damon's eyes widened. Bonnie saw his legs struggle to move, but he couldn't.

Bonnie knew he only really had one option.

Damon stared straight in Miranda's eyes, as if he were afraid to look anywhere else. "Go," he said firmly without looking at Stefan or Bonnie.

"Damon, we're not leaving –"

"Stefan, take her," he said, still not looking at either of them.

Bonnie looked at Stefan for help, but instead saw an apologetic expression on his face. "Stefan?" Bonnie said, helplessly.

"I'm sorry, Bonnie," said Stefan, before grabbing her arm tight. "We'll go," he said solemnly, looking at Miranda.

"Excellent! I will insure that all exits are unlocked. You have my word," she said this in a cheerful, but somehow unkind tone.

Bonnie felt tears streaming down her face as she yelled Damon's name repeatedly. He didn't even look back at her as Stefan dragged her out of the room.

"Bonnie, it's okay," Stefan said after they'd shut the room door behind them. "We did what we could. We had to respect his decision."

"No," she whispered, a giant lump in her throat. "We didn't." She could tell that he knew she was right. "God knows he never respected ours," she added, wiping the tears off her face. "Let's just leave," she said quickly, pulling her hand away from his, as an idea popped into her head.

Stefan frowned at her, but kept walking. Once they got to the door, and he turned his attention to the doorknob, Bonnie sprinted as fast as she could in a random direction.

"Bonnie!" she heard him calling once he realised she was gone.

 _No time._

Bonnie found herself rushing back up the staircase. She found the library. Leading upto the library was a corridor (the staircase at the end of it). There were lots of old, scary paintings on the walls as well as some antique models on tables. It looked rather like a haunted museum. On one of the tables, she noticed a set of old throwing knives. Almost cutting herself, she pulled one out. Had she gone insane? She didn't know, nor did she care.

She opened the door, slowly, not rousing the attention of Damon or Miranda. She looked down at the knife in her hand.

 _Don't throw it._

 _Don't throw it._

 _Don't throw it._

She threw it.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

 **Dedication: This chapter is for two of my reviewers, hereisaunicorn and mikjenl08, thank you guys for your kind and supportive words 3 keep reading! Also, I'd like to give a special dedication to Celina, who I'm going to miss soooo much 3**

 **Note: I'm soooo sorry I couldn't post this chapter earlier :( this week has been a particularly difficult one for me. Also, I'd like to apologise in advance for Damon's COMPLETE AND UTTER USELESSNESS in this chapter xD I just thought it was about time we gave Bonnie a chance to shine. Pleaaaase leave a review and let me know what you think and thank you guys so much for 40 reviews! I have the best readers ever. Enjoy this chapter. xoxo ;)**

Even Damon's vampire reflexes couldn't catch what she had just done until she had done it.

 _Oh no._

"Bonnie," he yelled, as the blade soared through the air. _It was too late_.

He wished she'd just left when he asked her too. As much as it would have destroyed him, she would be fine and to him, that was all that mattered.

 _Clang._

The metal hit the ground.

 _Of course it did._

Miranda laughed and made the blade fly into the air and turn it's point to Bonnie who stood at the doorway.

He watched, terrified as Bonnie's expression darkened. She, surprisingly, didn't look scared at all.

"Go ahead," she whispered with a smile. "Throw it."

"Bonnie!" Damon gasped for breath. Did she really think that Miranda would hesitate for a _second_?

Miranda smiled back at her. "There's not even an ounce of emotion in me, but I must say, I admire your bravery. However idiotic it may be." She turned to Damon, still keeping one eye on Bonnie. "Any last words for Bonnie, Damon?"

Damon choked. _Last words?_ "Yes." Bonnie's expression cracked as she looked at Damon. He knew she was thinking the same thing as him. _How could this be the end when it was only just beginning?_

He looked away from Bonnie, focusing his eyes on an amused Miranda instead. He knew exactly what he had to say. If this truly was the end, she needed to know. "Give her my letters."

Bonnie visibly inhaled sharply. She wasn't expecting that.

"Very well. Say goodbye, now." She said it so casually, before waving a hand at Damon. Suddenly, Damon felt paralysed. He couldn't move, no matter how hard he tried. His lips quivered, trying to form a single word. That's all he wanted. To make sure she heard it. But it came out as nothing but a whisper, as Miranda dragged Bonnie down the corridor.

Bonnie felt Miranda's cold hand on her arm propelling her forward down the corridor. _Soon, it will all be over._

 _His letters? What had he been talking about?_

Miranda led her into a room, before pulling out a stack of papers and handing them to her.

"Go ahead and read them, _human_ ," she said coldly.

Her last word made Bonnie shudder. In all this chaos, Bonnie had almost forgotten how powerless she was. A human. A mere mortal. No match for a woman of Miranda's power.

She read them all, one by one, not daring to skip a word. The letters often contradicted each other, which made Bonnie wonder if he even knew what he was writing.

 _I'm sorry._

 _I know you can never forgive me._

 _I miss you._

 _I hope you don't miss me._

 _I wish I could take it all back._

 _I would do it all again._

 _I would fix everything._

 _I wouldn't change a thing._

 _I'll be back, I promise._

 _I'll be here forever, won't I?_

And then she saw the three words that changed everything.

 _I love you._

She felt her eyes light up. Something in her switched on. Something she didn't even know was switched off. Perplexed, she looked down at her fingers that held the letters. Their paleness was gone, somehow. They had colour. She felt her whole body buzz. And then she realised what had just happened.

She concealed the smile on her face with tears. Miranda smiled. "Done? I think Damon would like to watch me end your life, how about you?" Ordinarily, Bonnie would have clawed this woman's eyes out by now, but she knew something that Miranda evidently didn't. And she was going to use it to her advantage.

Damon watched as Bonnie walked back in. He knew what was about to happen judging by the cruel smile on Miranda's face. She twirled the knife casually in her hands. Damon looked at Bonnie who looked as solemn as ever. Yet, something was different about her. Damon frowned inwardly, trying to figure out what it was. _Her eyes gleamed and her hands were at her side, pointing downwards, as if she was about to –_

Realisation dawned upon Damon, as he felt a mixture of worry and hope bubbled up inside him.

She kept her head down, rarely looking at Damon or Miranda. She counted seconds as Miranda talked. Her mind was buzzing so loudly, she could barely even hear Miranda.

"…So without further ado," Miranda nodded at Damon and Bonnie. "I think it's time for me to…"

 _Crash!_

Damon watched Bonnie smile excitedly as the bookshelf came down on top of Miranda.

Her powers were back.

"That was unwise," Miranda yelled from under the bookshelf.

Bonnie laughed, surprising herself by how insane she sounded. But she didn't care. Her magic was back and Damon was okay. Useless and paralysed, but okay!

She muttered a spell under her breath, watching as Miranda struggled to get out from under the bookshelf. Suddenly, she stopped trying to get out. She screamed and writhed in pain, but not for long. Bonnie felt her power draining again.

 _No!_

She fought it, but saw the glow at her fingertips begin to fade.

Miranda laughed, pulling herself up. "Nice try."

Bonnie had no choice.

With one last look at Damon, Bonnie charged Miranda, forcing her into the ground. She felt pain stab into her as Miranda's knife cut her across the neck, almost fatally. Miranda's eyes filled with rage and delight as she grabbed Bonnie's neck. She could've just finished it off with her powers, but something told Bonnie that it wasn't quite vengeful enough to satisfy her cruel soul.

Out of the corner of her eye, Bonnie watched Damon, who was trying (and failing) to avert his eyes. Then, as her windpipe began to shut off, she let her head fall sideways before her blurred vision found something on the ground.

She lifted the knife, as quickly as she could before giving Miranda a slash on the neck. A slash that wouldn't have done much damage if it wasn't right on her carotid artery. Miranda's grip on Bonnie loosened, and Bonnie felt oxygen returning to her lungs. Miranda's eyes widened before softening and looking at Bonnie. She then whispered something, so soft that Bonnie could barely hear it. But her expression said it all. "Thank you."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

 **Dedication: Everyone who followed and favourited.**

 **Note: Okay, so this is deeeefinitely not my best work, but stick around because infuriating as it might be, the end of this chapter holds a little surprise. There's a biiiig plot twist coming! Once you're done, review and tell me your theories and ideas and what you think is going to happen in the next chapter. Believe me, it's a lot worse than it looks. ;)**

 **Ps. I'm glad you guys liked Badass Bonnie. This is not the last you've seen of her ;)**

Damon felt relief flood through his body. He could move again. The first thing he did was rush toward Bonnie and hug her. Finally, he could feel her skin against his again. He felt his heart leap out of his chest every time he was near her. It was amazing, but he knew, deep down that it could never happen. He could never be that selfish.

Bonnie was beaming from ear-to-ear when they pulled away. Her whole face had lit up like it always did when she smiled genuinely.

"I read your letters," Bonnie said, clearly waiting for an explanation.

"They were… nothing," Damon said, making Bonnie's smile disappear. But he knew that she could tell that he was flat-out lying to her face. They stared at each other for a moment. Damon had so many things he wanted to say, but he felt that silence was the best way to go about this.

"How about we go find Stefan?" Bonnie said, evidently disappointed but trying not to show it.

They didn't have to look that far.

Stefan was waiting right outside the room with his arms crossed.

"By the time I got to you, you were reading the letters in the other room," he said, sounding almost annoyed.

Damon frowned. _Why on earth didn't Stefan try to help Bonnie at all?_

Bonnie apologised absent-mindedly and then followed Stefan down the corridor.

When they got out of the house, Bonnie was completely avoiding looking at Damon. She simply got into the back seat of his car and stared out of the window until they reached the airport. Stefan went to get the tickets, leaving Bonnie and Damon alone.

"Look, Bonnie –" Damon began, noticing her avoiding him.

"Don't do that," she said softly. "Don't pretend it's nothing." Damon was angry now. She knew very well how many reasons he had to do just that.

"Bonnie, I'm dangerous," he said, flaring up. "How many times do I have to show you? I'm dangerous, I'm compulsive and I _will_ hurt you if you let me. That's who I am. Everything I have ever done, I have done for me. So, tell me, does it really matter if the letters were something? Does it change anything?" It was intended as a rhetorical question, but being as stubborn as she was meant that she had to answer it.

"Yes," she said, as if it was obvious.

"No! It doesn't matter, Bonnie! Does it change the fact that I turned your mother into a vampire? Does it change the fact that I _left_ you when you had no one else? Nothing matters at this point. It's too late." Bonnie glared at him.

"You're right, it doesn't," she said, surprising Damon. "Nothing will ever change the past, but that doesn't mean we're not entitled to a future." With that, she stood up, walked past Damon towards Stefan who was buying the tickets.

On the plane, the pair barely even spoke. Bonnie was sitting in the aisle seat and Damon was in the window seat with Stefan sitting between them, casually reading 'Pride and Prejudice'. Damon stared at the seat in front of him, careful not to look anywhere else. He did this for the rest of the flight, not daring to even glance at Bonnie.

Bonnie refused to write another letter to nobody, yet she also refused to talk to him. To tell him everything and try to fix all the damage. But, she knew that no matter what they did, they couldn't fix any of it.

Again, he'd pretended his decision to not do anything about the incidents in the past few months was for Bonnie's well-being. It wasn't. It was for him. He would never be able to live with himself for betraying Elena.

They landed and made their way to Bonnie's New York apartment. She hoped she had hidden the letters safely before she left. But who cared anymore if he read them. It wouldn't change a thing.

"I'm sorry," Damon whispered to her when they reached.

"I know," Bonnie rolled her eyes. "You mentioned that about a thousand times in your letters."

"That's not what I mean. I'm sorry about…. This."

"You don't need to be," Bonnie said. "I was right the first time. You're never going to be someone I can count on and that's okay. I have others. I have _Enzo_."

She unlocked the door to her apartment and said "Come in," allowing Damon inside, although she really wished he would just leave already.

"You guys need some alone time," Stefan said with a smile. "I'll catch up with you later, Damon." Stefan went back downstairs.

What she'd said about Enzo had really hurt Damon. He didn't show it, but it had. And now, all he wanted was to escape the apartment as fast as he could, but his feet were frozen to the floor.

"Hey, there is some good news," Bonnie said awkwardly. She pointed her fingers at a pillow and it flew towards her. "I have my powers back." Damon nodded, a fake smile plastered onto his face.

"Okay, we can't just talk about _that_ , clearly," Bonnie said, sighing.

"Yeah, I'm just going to go," Damon said standing up.

"What you do best," Bonnie muttered. Obviously she had forgotten about his vampire hearing. He felt guilt stab through him; followed by rage.

"Bonnie, what do you want me to say?" Damon asked, angrily. "Do you want me to apologise again? Do you want me to say I was to be with you? Do you want me to tell you _I love you_? Don't you see, it's because I love you that I can't say any of those things?"

"Oh, bullshit," Bonnie spat, but felt her chest burn. "You know what, you were right. We should just forget about _all of this_."

There was a pause and then Damon nodded. "It would never work, Bonnie. You know that. We would blow each other up in the end."

 _He was right._ They _would_ end up destroying one another. Yet, they were the only ones who could save one another, too.

When Bonnie didn't respond, Damon walked out and slammed the door behind him out of frustration.

There were so many reasons why they could _never_ be together.

 _Her best friend was his girlfriend._

 _She was the only one keeping Damon and Elena apart._

 _Damon was infuriatingly impulsive and whenever he was involved, she was, too._

 _Enzo was always there for her when she needed her, not Damon._

The list went on and on. Elena and Damon were the perfect yin and yang; Bonnie and Damon went further than that. They were absolutely wrong for each other, yet through the years, they'd always found their way back to one another.

And now, they were closer to each other than they had been in months, yet Bonnie couldn't help but feel like they were further away than they had ever been.

 _Knock._

Just one single knock on the door.

She went to open it.

It was Stefan. He smiled solemnly at her. "I'm sure Stefan would feel pretty bad about this," he said, before everything went black.


	13. Chapter 13 (sadly, really short)

Chapter 13

Dedication: bellavida0213 who I let in on a little secret about what's coming ;)

 **Note: I am SO SORRY! This chapter is one of the shortest ones I've written, spanning about only 1 page! It was necessary to keep it short because I didn't want to give too much away. I won't be posting anything until Friday, but after Friday, I'm all yours. It's like a mini-break for you guys to post your theories and let me know what you want to happen, what you think is going to happen, what your favourite chapter has been, etc. Anyway, enjoy this chapter!**

Damon had never felt more guilty in his life.

He'd hurt Bonnie. Again. And even though his intentions were good, they'd caused her pain. He hoped she didn't hate him, yet he also hoped she did. He didn't deserve her. Not as a friend, not as something more. The past few months had been like stepping on Elena's memory. They'd made him feel guilt that he'd never felt before. It was only those fleeting moments when he saw Bonnie's image that the guilt was lifted, yet only momentarily before the truth set in. He would never stop hurting people. And although for once in his life he thought he'd found someone who was the exception, she wasn't. There was no exception. Not Bonnie or Elena.

He knew what he needed to do.

It was the middle of the day and he was heading to a secret warehouse in New York City. One he hadn't visited in a while. He hoped it would bring him clarity, but he knew it wouldn't. He wouldn't have clarity for a while.

Elena was asleep in her coffin, as peaceful as the day she'd been put there. Damon stared down at her, feeling another jolt of guilt as he remembered that he made the terrible mistake of falling in love with her best friend.

He was afraid to even touch her. Afraid that he didn't deserve to.

But he didn't come to touch her. He didn't come to gain closure. He came to say goodbye.

He thought it was the last time he would see Elena Gilbert, at least for a while, until she was awake. He would watch over her, Bonnie and everyone else from afar. But he had no choice. He had to leave. He was like a ticking time bomb and until everyone saw that, they wouldn't leave him alone. Now, after everything, he prayed that they finally saw him for who he really was; a monster. Not a friend, not a brother; a monster.

He would go see Bonnie and Stefan later to say goodbye, but no matter how much they protested, he wouldn't cave in.

With a sigh, he took one last look at the woman he'd betrayed.

She twitched.

 _She twitched?_

"Elena?" Damon said aloud.

 _She wasn't awake. She couldn't be._

But she was awake. Her eyes opened gently and a smile crept onto her face.

 **Note: How's that for a plot twist ;) A lot of you were speculating as to whether Stefan is possessed or whether Silas is back, and you'll get your answers at the end of this week! Please, if you're leaving a review, let me know:**

 **If you want the chapters to be longer**

 **What you want to happen**

 **What your favourite chapter was**

 **What your least favourite part of the story was**

 **What you think is going to happen**

 **If it's Silas or the spirit or something else**

 **And all your theories!**

 **This is important so I know what I should focus on. I'll be writing the next chapter all through the week, using your feedback, so please, if you have time, leave a review! Again, I'm sorry this one was so short :(**

 **xoxo**

 **Aleshur**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

 **Dedication: Drylaine, Damon's sexy witch, PrincessAle and Boute, the four reviewers of last chapter - thanks for the love guys, especially Damon's Sexy Witch and PrincessAle who have been my most consistent reviewers. Love you guys so much. 3**

 **Note: Pretty sure this is the longest chapter yet! And the hardest to write. Omg, I really had writer's block with this one. A lot happens and we learn a lot more about what's going on but a few things still remain blurred. I have no idea what's coming next, so pleeease let me know what you want to happen. Also, thank you soooo much for 50+ reviews! I never thought I would get here.**

Elena smiled brightly at Damon. It seemed dream-like. Like it wasn't really happening.

"This is real," she said, her voice full of happiness.

He smiled at her, trying to figure out how this could have happened.

She sat up and he pulled her out of the coffin.

Elena was back. That could only mean one thing.

 _Bonnie was dead._

Bonnie felt a sharp stab of pain before the numbness took over. She couldn't feel anything. Couldn't hear anything except her last strangled breaths. Her vision blurred into darkness.

This couldn't be it. This couldn't possibly be how she died.

Eventually, the sound of her breathing died out. Everything was silent. This _was_ it. She waited for her eyes to open, knowing that when they did, she would be alone in some place she knew nothing of. She would be dead to the world and the world would be dead to her. Once and for all.

 _Silence._

With a sudden jolt, Bonnie felt suffocated. She tasted blood in her mouth, and felt it be forced down her throat against her will.

 _No._

The confusion was gone. She knew what was happening. It was the only thing she feared more than death.

Her eyes opened to a blurry vision of Caroline Forbes. Caroline looked terrified, her eyes filled with tears, but her fear quickly turned to deep, deep relief when she saw that Bonnie was awake.

"Bonnie," she said, through her tears. "I thought you were gone."

"I was," Bonnie said, solemnly.

Caroline's eyes widened. "You don't mean –"

"I do." Bonnie already began to feel unquenchable thirst flood through her veins.

"I'm so sorry."

"You saved my life," Bonnie said, although she wasn't sure she wanted to live. Not like this. "Don't apologise. Thank you, Car."

Caroline smiled sadly. "Are you going to go through with the transition?" Bonnie knew that it would destroy Caroline to lose her best friend like this. In the exact way she lost her dad. She could see Caroline's eyes begin to well up again, although she was trying hard to be strong.

"Yes," Bonnie said, sighing as she tried to control the unbelievable hunger she felt. "I'm a survivor, Caroline. I have to do this."

Caroline nodded, evidently trying hard not to show how happy that made her. "I'll get you some…" she trailed off.

"Blood," Bonnie completed. "It's okay, Car." Caroline nodded and then left the apartment. Bonnie sat upright, fighting the urge to cry and/or destroy something. She took a deep breath and instead focused her attention on something else.

 _Who did this to her?_

Damon helped Elena into the car. There were so many things he wanted to say. He wanted to tell her everything and get it all off his chest. But not now. Now, he had to focus on one thing and one thing only. Bonnie.

"How long has it been?" Elena asked, oblivious to the crazy thoughts running through Damon's brain.

"Four years," Damon said, igniting Elena's surprise.

"But… Bonnie…."

"Yeah, we're going to figure that out," he said dismissively. He knew that she could sense his anxiety. Something was clearly wrong, but luckily, she didn't ask.

"My questions can wait," was all she said, making Damon feel even more guilty. They were practically flying down the road in complete silence. Damon kept his eyes focused on the road and Elena stared at him curiously. He hoped his silence didn't speak for itself.

When they reached the shabby old building, Damon bolted out of the car and yelled at the top of his lungs. "Bonnie! Bonnie!" He said her name over and over again as they ran up the stairs to her apartment. He was about to break down the door when it opened.

There she stood. She was okay. Damon felt relief and confusion flood through him, but all he did was hug her.

She hugged him back, but quickly pulled away when she saw _her_.

"Elena?" She said, her voice cracking. Elena smiled, although she didn't look that happy. Mostly extremely confused.

"Bonnie," Elena said, wrapping her around around her friend.

Then Bonnie felt it. She felt her teeth ache. She could smell Elena's blood. Human, now that she'd taken the cure. She pulled away, unable to control the desire that consumed her. Damon stared at her, realisation dawning upon him. Elena stifled a scream when she saw her face. The face of a predator ready to attack. And she might have attacked, if Caroline hadn't appeared in the corridor at that very moment. She nudged past Damon and Elena, not noticing them at first, as she handed Bonnie a blood bag. Bonnie drank it, disgusted at how much relief it brought her.

"No," Damon said, not processing what he'd just seen. Caroline, spun around at the sound of his voice and noticed Elena. The two girls started conversing at the same time, both equally happy to see one another. Damon simply stared at Bonnie with a look of utter confusion on his face.

"Come in?" Bonnie said, awkwardly.

Damon sat next to Elena on the couch opposite Caroline, and Bonnie stood as far away from Damon and Elena as she could, perhaps because she was afraid to hurt Elena, or maybe even because she didn't want to see them together. Damon brushed the thought aside. Surely she didn't feel that way. Seeing Elena again confused him, but not as much as it made him happy. He was so glad she was awake. Yet, guilt was all he allowed himself to feel. How had he been so careless, so stupid, so reckless to fall in love with her _best friend_?

Caroline and Elena talked endlessly, both of them oblivious to what Damon and Bonnie had been through the past months. Damon was sure that Stefan hadn't yet told Caroline everything. Suddenly, the conversation halted, as Caroline and Elena both turned to Bonnie who was sitting in the corner of the room, rocking back and forth.

"Who did this to you?" Elena asked.

Bonnie shrugged. "I don't remember. There was a knife on the floor next to me when I woke up."

Damon felt anger bubble up inside him. He swore to himself that whoever did that would meet their end soon.

There was a loud knock on the door, followed by another.

Bonnie put a shaky hand on the doorknob, and cautiously opened it. Luckily, it was only Stefan and Enzo.

"Oh thank god it's just you guys," Bonnie said, sighing. "We have a guest."

They looked at Elena, seemingly unsurprised. "We know," Enzo said, looking at Elena sadly. Stefan looked at her, too, solemnly. "We saw Damon bringing her upstairs." Elena frowned.

"What's going on, guys?" she asked, sensing their tension.

Stefan sighed. "Elena… when we saw you, Enzo came up here and saw that Bonnie was alive. Pale and clearly starving, but alive. He knew instantly what had happened. Kai's curse has no loopholes. Not even vampirism."

"No," Damon said, realising where Stefan was going with this. Elena's eyes filled with tears. "How long?" She asked.

"An hour, maybe," Enzo replied.

Elena nodded. "Can you give me and Damon a minute, please?" Caroline and Bonnie left the room, closing the door behind them.

Damon felt miserable. Elena only had an hour left before she was gone again. She would go back to sleep, this time indefinitely, because Bonnie was a vampire. And he hadn't confessed anything. He hadn't told her the truth. That he was in love with Bonnie. That he didn't choose it, but he was. Now, she'd go back to her coffin, knowing nothing. This was his chance to get everything off his chest, and he blew it.

"It's not that bad," she said through her tears. "It's like being asleep. Feels like a neverending dream." Damon nodded, knowing that she was trying to convince herself more than she was trying to convince him.

"I saw your face when I woke up. You were happy, sure, but you were mostly worried. Worried for _her_." She looked toward the door. He knew she was talking about Bonnie.

"She's my best friend," was all Damon could say.

Elena smiled and shook her head. "I saw the way you looked at her. The way you melted at the sight of her. You've never looked at anyone in that way. Not Katherine, not even me."

Damon was speechless. She knew.

"You're fighting it. Do me a favor, and stop. You deserve to be happy. So does she. I'll come back someday, no matter how far away that day is. Don't put your life on hold for me." She kissed him. He wanted to protest, but instead he just smiled. She smiled back and opened the door. The others were waiting near the staircase.

Bonnie felt sick. Not just because she was a vampire, but also because she had been a horrible friend to Elena. She'd fallen in love with the wrong person and now, she would do everything to forget about him. She would move on and honor Elena's memory. She would live her life, and when the time called for it, she would stake herself. Now, she could barely even look Elena in the eye, but for some reason, Elena walked upto her with a smile and whispered two words in her ear.

"It's okay." With that, she was preoccupied with the others who were all crowding around her. Bonnie's eyes widened as she looked at Damon. He smiled softly before looking away.

Suddenly, the whole plan she'd dreamt up had collapsed.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

 **Dedication: hereisaunicorn, thanks as always for your continued encouragement! I'd also like to dedicate this to my friend and dedicated reader Taarini, thanks for your support.**

 **Note: My lovely reviewer babekitt said that Bonnie should be a vampire and have magic, but as you all know, this just isn't possible - yet. See, as demonstrated by Bonnie's mother, witches cannot simultaneously be vampires unless they are siphoners. I am trying to play by the rules that have already been established in the series and although I might twist them here and there, their premise will mostly remain the same. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I worked really hard on it and I'm actually really proud of this one. A lot of the loose ends still remain untied but I'm working on it. Please leave your reviews to let me know what you think and also leave any questions you may have because I'll try to answer them next chapter. Now, go read!**

 **Ps. I know the whole Elena thing is sad, but don't worry too much, I'm sure I'll make up for it later. ;)**

Bonnie, Elena and Caroline sat in silence, all draped in a warm blanket, like old times. It seemed as though they were all sixteen again, although now, Caroline had been a vampire for years, Elena was a doppelganger, ex-vampire who would be trapped in a sleeping-beauty state soon and Bonnie was a miserable ex-witch-turned-vampire who couldn't think of anything but blood. Yet, here they sat, all cosy on Bonnie's couch in complete, calm silence, all knowing that this was the last time things would ever be that simple.

The guilt Bonnie felt had lessened considerably once Elena had whispered those two words to her. "It's okay." Even though she knew it would never truly be 'okay', it brought her peace. At least now she knew her best friend didn't hate her. Bonnie glanced at Elena. She looked peaceful. Happy. Content. She smiled at Bonnie as if she read her mind. Bonnie smiled back, and then turned her attention to Caroline who was in a much worse condition. Silent tears were falling down her cheeks as she rested her head on Elena's shoulder. When she noticed Bonnie's concerned gaze, she quickly brushed the tears away and sat up.

"I think Damon and Stefan should be here," she muttered, smiling weakly at Bonnie and Elena before leaving the apartment quickly.

Elena looked worried. "Do you think she'll be okay?"

Bonnie nodded. "She's been through a lot, but I'm pretty sure Stefan and the twins will help her out."

Elena sat up, surprisedly and Bonnie laughed. "You don't know. Caroline had Alaric's twins."

Elena's eyes widened, and Bonnie realised she was making it even more confusing. "Stefan's heretic girlfriend put Alaric and Jo's babies inside her."

Elena stared at her in confusion. "What's a heretic?"

Bonnie sighed.

"You know what," Elena said. "It doesn't matter. Look, how about we talk about the elephant in the room for a second here."

Bonnie wished they didn't have to, but she wanted to honor Elena's wishes.

"There's nothing to talk about," Bonnie said dismissively. "I'll be honest, on my end, I did have feelings for him, but it's not like I can't control them."

"Bonnie," Elena said, grabbing Bonnie's hand. "You listen to me. You're going to live your life. You're going to live as long as you want to, be it thirty more years or a thousand. He's going to do the same. It's not my place to tell you what to do, but believe me, trying to control your feelings never works out. If anything, it makes them stronger. Don't fight them."

Bonnie felt her eyes burn, partly because of Elena's words and partly because she could smell her human blood. "Someday, when I'm gone, you'll be back. Someday, you'll be with him. Someday, you'll both be happy."

Elena flinched. Clearly this caused her more pain than she was letting on.

"I'm not going to stand in the way of 'someday'."

Elena suddenly looked frustrated. She stood up. "Don't you see, Bonnie? There is no 'someday'? Not anymore. You're his 'someday'. You're his 'today'. You both may not see it. Hell, you may never see it. But I do. Sure, I'll have my 'someday', but I already know that it's not going to be with him."

Bonnie was taken aback. "What do you mean?"

"I love Damon. I do. And I know he loves me, but I'm not the only one. I don't know if I ever was. The point is, you're the one for him. You're the one who can bring him back when he reaches his darkest, not me. Stefan told me everything; about the dream world and all, and it makes sense. I understand. Now, please, I'm asking you as my last wish to my best friend. Be happy. Don't let me stand in the way of that. I'm done being selfish. You deserve this." Bonnie just stared at her until she was done. She couldn't think straight. All she could manage was a nod.

"Promise me you'll be happy. Promise me." Elena sounded desperate.

"I – I promise," Bonnie said shakily, finally breaking down. Wow, her emotions really _had_ been hightened. Elena hugged her, but quickly pulled away. She closed her eyes.

"I haven't got much time," she said sadly. She opened her eyes. "I love you, Bonnie. I should go see Caroline and the others. Goodbye." Bonnie hugged Elena again, unable to find the words to explain how thankful she was. Thankful for their friendship, thankful for this conversation, thankful for her existence. She had made a promise and she intended to keep it. She would find a way to be happy, even if she was a vampire. She would find a way to be happy even though her best friend was gone because of her. But most importantly, she would find a way to be happy, with or without Damon Salvatore.

Damon was halfway through his bourbon bottle when Elena returned. They were in what Enzo had said was 'Bonnie's favourite café'. He, admittedly, had cringed slightly when he realised that they were still together. He was good for her. He was nice, protective, brave and would do anything for her, but Stefan had told Damon about the whole Lily situation. Although Enzo's feelings for Bonnie were clearly strong, they weren't enough to pull him back from the edge. Although he hoped Enzo made Bonnie happy, some sad, sadistic part of him wanted nothing more but for the relationship to end. Okay, maybe not _just_ a small part of him.

Elena hugged Stefan, then Caroline, then even Enzo, before she reached Damon.

"Don't be afraid," she whispered when she got to him. He knew she was talking about his relationship with Bonnie. Then, her eyes closed firmly. For a second, he thought she was about to collapse, but she only swayed.

"It's time," she said gravely.

Caroline steadied her. "I'll take her back," she said to the others, her voice quivering. "You guys should stay here."

Damon nodded. He kissed Elena. He knew, deep down, it was a goodbye kiss. Maybe the last one they would ever share. He knew that no matter how hard he tried, no matter what he did, they would never be Damon and Elena again. There was nothing but love there between them, but it wasn't the same. It wasn't romantic. It was simply two people who cared about each other. _Genuinely_ cared about each other.

And with Bonnie – well, with Bonnie, he didn't know. But for the first time in his life, Damon was willing to find out.

Bonnie couldn't waste anymore time sulking over being a vampire. She couldn't waste time feeling sorry for herself, feeling sorry for Elena and thinking about Damon. She'd never been the emotional kind, not even now when everything was heightened. She'd had her moment to think and to cry and now it was time to be strong. It was time to find out who did this to her. And when she did, there was no way in hell they were escaping with their lives.

 _Do not cross Bonnie Bennett._

Certainly not after the past few months. Bonnie was no longer the self-sacrificing small town girl she had been. She was powerful and with that power came ruthlessness that she couldn't control. That she didn't want to control. She was stronger than she had ever been, despite having less control over herself than she'd ever had. She took a deep breath and swore to herself:

 _No more guilt._

 _No more crying._

 _No more weakness._

She needed to find who did this to her and destroy them. Everything else would have to wait.

She decided that the new Bonnie Bennett would be open to happiness, like she'd promised, but sure as hell wasn't about to depend on it.

She hated depending on anything and in that moment, she swore that she would never do it again.

She didn't realise at the time that her biggest strength was also her biggest weakness.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

 **Note: Sorry it took me so long to write this; had a strong case of writer's block. Where are all my reviewers at? Besides the two usuals (you know who you are ;)) I haven't got any since last chapter. Please review.**

Her eyes closed gently as the rest of her body fell asleep. Damon watched as she became still, the coffin encasing her slender figure. He sighed, took one last look at her and closed it. He turned behind to look at Stefan who smiled sadly at him.

"Let's go," Damon whispered softly to Stefan, forgetting that Elena wasn't really 'asleep'. They made their way to the car in complete silence. Their relationship certainly hadn't been the same in a while. Damon doubted it would ever be the same. However, Stefan was acting stranger than usual. He was more quiet and had barely said a word to Elena, someone who Damon knew for a fact he cared about. He had barely even _looked_ at Caroline since she came to New York. Damon knew something was wrong, but he wasn't in any hurry to find out what. He didn't have the right to question Stefan now, when he helped bring him back.

"So…" Stefan began.

"So?"

"You and Elena…"

"I don't know, Stefan," Damon said, although he did know. It was over. A relief for both of them at this point.  
"What about Bonnie?"

"What about her?" Damon asked, pretending to not know what Stefan was talking about.

"Don't act like you don't know. She's the one that woke you up."

"And?"

"And I'm just saying. I know how you feel about her but do you really think after everything you put her through that it's right to do anything about it."

Damon sighed, surprised at Stefan's sudden curiosity. "No," Damon admitted. "But I'm not going to fight it anymore. What happens, happens. If she wants to pack up and leave, then fine, I'll deal with it, but if she wants to stay…" He paused. "If she wants to stay then I'll stay too." Stefan looked a bit annoyed, but he quickly covered it up by focusing his eyes on the road.

Something clearly was amiss.

"We've got to get to her," Damon said. "She's less vulnerable now, but you never know. Who do you think did this to her?"

Stefan shrugged. "Whoever it was, I'm sure they won't do it again. She's stronger now, she'll be fine."

"Do you really believe that?" Damon asked, a tinge of suspicion in his voice.

Stefan nodded nonchalantly.

Bonnie scanned the room with her sharp eyes, clutching the part of her throat that had been cut. The scar had healed due to her vampiric healing but the bloodstains were still on the carpet. They made her feel sick, but she kept them as a reminder to never let her guard down again. Her door and windows were securely locked as she sat on her bed facing the door,. She always kept the door in her lane of sight, paranoia keeping her from looking away. She had some of her old weapons ready if anyone attacked, a gun with wooden bullets now sitting on her bedside next to several of her sharpest kitchen knives, along with another gun filled with strong vervain.

She was strong now. Stronger than she had ever been. With one swing of her hand, she could break down that door. The thought scared her because it meant that despite having strong locks on it, any vampire could easily get in. She couldn't even do a spell to prevent that from happening. Yes, she was strong, but she felt as powerless as she had felt when she lost her powers. It felt unnatural. Strange. Her powers were gone. Forever.

There was a knock on the door. Startled, she picked up the gun, as well as the sharpest knife and walked toward it, slowly. Then came a second knock, louder this time. She pulled the door open swiftly and stepped back aiming her gun at the person who had knocked.

Stefan raised his hands above his head, smiling slightly.

Bonnie sighed and lowered her weapon. Thank god it was just him. She let him inside and collapsed back on her bed.

She shivered, not because it was cold, but because she knew she would always be this paranoid. She'd almost shot Stefan!

"How are you coping with… everything?" He asked, awkwardly.

"I don't know. I haven't really had time to process it." She shivered again, realising that she know had nothing but time. Immortality granted her that.

"What if I told you, you didn't have to process anything," Stefan said, smiling.

"What are you talking about?" Bonnie asked, suddenly feeling afraid and excited at the same time.

Stefan pulled something out of his leather jacket. _A vial?_

A small, corked bottle of red liquid was in his hands. She recognised it almost instantly. _The cure for vampirism._

She didn't even know where he'd found that. It was incredibly rare. Elena had drank the last vial she knew about.

"Where – Where did you find that?" Bonnie said, staring at the liquid in surprise.

"Damon was going to take the cure with Elena. One more vial was just sitting, unused in the Salvatore mansion."

"I can't take that…" Bonnie said, but all she wanted to do was drink it. "It wouldn't be fair to Damon."

"Who do you think suggested it?" Stefan said. He was being strangely persisitent. She stared at him for a minute, folding her arms as if she was cold.

He removed his jacket and draped it around her shoulders. It was a kind gesture, although he knew she couldn't actually feel cold anymore.

She smiled at him, and took the vial in her hand, staring down at the mesmerising red liquid. The thought of drinking it scared her, for some unknown reason. Instead, she focused her gaze on the leather wrapped around her shoulders. Immediately, a vision popped up in her mind, almost making her drop the vial.

A man wearing this same leather jacket storming into her apartment. A man with an all too familiar face, except without the emotion. She felt fear, anger and confusion flood through her, but all she did was smile at Stefan.

"You know, it smells a bit strange. Do you mind getting me a glass of water to help stomach it?"

"Of course," Stefan said, smiling.

He stood back up and walked toward the part of the room where a bottle of water was kept.

Without a moment's thought, Bonnie silently scooped up the vervain gun and quickly shot a few vervain darts into him. Stefan screamed in pain before becoming unconcious. She picked up her phone and texted Damon, 'Help', before running to Stefan's still body.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

 **Dedication: It was close, but I had to choose Damon's Sexy Witch for this chapter. She always has amazing reviews and this wouldn't be possible without her. Thank you so much for everything 3**

 **Note: I'm sooooo sorry this was late. I had writer's block... again. But, I got over it eventually and wrote this extra long chapter. I hope you like it. Bamon really progresses here (finally) and you guys will get to see a little more of Damon since Badass Bonnie's been under the spotlight for quite some time now. Anyway, hope you enjoy! Please leave a review if you enjoyed, it motivates me to write more.**

Damon sprinted frantically up the stairs, his body moving quicker than ever but his mind moving contrastingly. He couldn't think about anything except that he had to run as fast as he could – and he did. At vampire speed, he approached Bonnie's door and without thinking, busted it open, almost knocking the little wooden door off its hinges. He didn't know completely what he expected to see, but it certainly wasn't what he saw.

An unconscious Stefan was tied to the doorknob of Bonnie's bathroom, using what appeared to be shabbily cut pieces of cloth. Bonnie kneeled next to him, attempting, in vain, to make the pieces of cloth tight enough to hold a super strong vampire. Upon seeing her, he flooded with relief. He could finally think straight again. He had a million questions, but somehow all he managed to say was, "Kinky," with a smirk that Bonnie didn't seem to appreciate.

"Get over here and help me!" Bonnie yelled at him angrily, but something about the tone of her voice told him that she wasn't angry at all. Not at him, that's for sure.

"You know that's not going to work, right?" Damon asked, concernedly as he rushed to Bonnie's side.

"I don't know anything anymore," said Bonnie, defeatedly as she continued to struggle with Stefan's limp body.

Damon felt his smirk disappear as he heard how broken she sounded. She didn't deserve what she'd been through.

"Hey," he said, crouching down next to her. "We're going to fix this," he brushed her arm gently, looking into her eyes. She pulled away, and he realised he shouldn't have done anything. Not now. "So," he cleared his throat, hoping to make a smooth recovery. "Are you going to tell me why you're trying to tie up my unconcious brother? It better not be what I think it is…" Bonnie frowned, but he knew from the way her eyes softened that his jokes were more comforting than she was letting on.

"He brought me this," she said, reaching into the pocket of Stefan's leather jacket that she was, for some reason, wearing, and pulling out a vial of glowing red liquid. Damon recognised it immediately.

"The cure," he whispered, remembering how he was going to drink the cure, himself, once, to be with Elena.

Bonnie shook her head. "I don't think so. Whatever this is, it's not the cure. Stefan's the one who tried to kill me."

"What?" Damon said, in horror and utter confusion.

"I knew when he gave me this jacket," Bonnie said confidently. To Damon, she sounded crazy, but still, somehow, he believed her. If anyone could make something that insane seem sound, it was Bonnie. "He gave me the vial, claiming it was the one you were going to take with Elena."

Damon stared at the cure in wonder. "Bonnie, if that really is the cure…"

"It's not, trust me." She looked at him, her eyes wide. There was not an ounce of hesitation in her stare.

Damon picked up the bottle, glanced at it for a moment before uncorking it.

"There's only one way to find out."

"Damon, what are you doing?" Bonnie said with more fear than he'd ever heard in her voice.

He smirked at her concern for him. "Relax, Bon-Bon, I'm not going to drink it." He looked around the room, his eyes halting when they noticed a tiny plant in the corner of the room. He walked over to it, slowly, Bonnie standing up in alarm. Then, swiftly, he spilled the red liquid on top of it.

"Damon!" Bonnie said, but her voice sounded muffled in his mind, as compared to the bubbling sound coming from the plant. They watched as the leaves traded their green pigment for a black, burnt colour and gradually fell off one by one.

Bonnie and Damon exchanged looks in silence. When Bonnie finally spoke, it was a soft, "That plant was a gift."

"I'm sorry. R.I.P," Damon said, absentmindedly.

"From Enzo,"

"I take that back," he muttered, turning back around to face the plant. Out of the corner of his eye, he could've sworn he saw her eyes light up slightly. He picked up a leaf gently and was surprised when it's crackly texture crumbled immediately. "Definitely not the cure. Good call, Bon. If you drank that, I…" He stopped, realising he was heading into dangerous territory again.

"You what?" Bonnie asked, although he was sure she knew already.

"There's the Bonnie Bennett I know. Always persistent even when it's bad for her."

Bonnie's expression hardened. "I decide what's bad for me." She said. "That red liquid in the vial certainly was."

"Really? What gave that away?" Damon said instinctively, before realising she was just trying to change the subject. Bonnie rolled her eyes.

"Are you just going to stand there staring between me and the plant? We're not going anywhere. _Stefan's_ going to wake up any minute now, though."

Damon grimaced, remembering that the complications were about to get a lot worse.

He looked down at Stefan's limp body. "It's got to be what possessed me and Enzo. We both know he wouldn't do this off his own accord."

"Maybe, but how do we get him back."

"Well, the logical answer would be Caroline, but after the past few months, I think it's safe to say logic isn't our best bet."

Bonnie shrugged. "He's been around Caroline the whole day, if it were her, shouldn't he have woken up, or at least weakened a bit."

Damon nodded, remembering how the mere _thought_ of Bonnie gradually brought him back. He looked at her and smiled slightly. "Definitely." She appeared out of breath and turned to look out of the window.

"Any ideas?" She asked, still not meeting his eyes.

Damon smirked at her. "Got any wood?"

Damon had hoisted Stefan's unconscious body onto the sofa.

"This idea is insane," Bonnie said, although she knew there was barely anything else they could do with the limited resources and time they had.

"Believe me, it'll hold him down. Especially since the vervain weakened him already. Stakes, please." Bonnie hesitantly handed him two of the various stakes she kept hidden in her apartment. Keeping Stefan's hands placed on both arms of the couch, Damon lodged one of the stakes into his right hand strategically. Stefan's eyes opened wide and he grunted in pain, unable to gauge his surroundings quite yet. He looked around the room before his eyes settled on Bonnie, but they quickly flicked away when the second stake was thrust into his left hand.

"Sorry brother… if that's who you are," Damon said.

"Wha – Damon," Stefan grunted. "What are you doing? Of course I'm your brother."

Damon shook his head. "I might not have been able to tell when you were asleep, but I've been in your shoes. I know what you are." He turned to Bonnie and casually said, "He's been possessed. Go get Caroline."

Bonnie stared at 'Stefan' with hatred, barely hearing what Damon said to her. Carelessly, she picked up her phone and texted Caroline to come over, but Damon frowned at her. "The hotel's next door, I think you can walk."

"What?"

"I need some time alone with my brother. Just go get Caroline and I guess Enzo, if you must." He rolled his eyes.

Bonnie wanted to ask what he meant by that. _"…Enzo, if you must."_ It really infuriated her to hear that, and he knew it.

Nevertheless, she obeyed and stormed out of the apartment without looking back at him.

Stefan laughed although he was clearly still in pain. "I will never understand you two." He was clearly still making an attempt to seem normal, but Damon saw through it.

"We're going to play a game," Damon said, drying the emotion out of his voice. He wanted to seem as intimidating as he could be, which was quite a bit, even without him trying. He twisted the wooden bullet inside Stefan's right hand, promting him to yell.

"I ask the questions, you answer. You lie, this gets ten-times worse. You tell the truth…" Damon scanned the room for objects he could use to his advantage. He noticed a box on the counter and a smile crept its way onto his face. "If you tell the truth, you get a pork rind!" He said, reaching for the box, his eyes gleaming. He couldn't believe Bonnie had a box of those just lying around.

"Sure," Stefan said, nonchalantly. "Tell me, brother, how do you think you're going to tell the difference between the truth or lies? What are you going to do, compel me?" Stefan scoffed. If he was still trying to prove he was the real Stefan, he was failling miserably.

"Even when you're not yourself, I know you like I know the palm of my own hand," Damon replied truthfully.

Stefan grinned. "Okay then. Why don't we make it a little more interesting? We take turns asking the questions."

Damon laughed. "I don't think so."

"Why not? It's not like I can do anything to you with wooden bullets and vervain in me. It's just a fun exercise. And you know what, brother, I can tell when you're lying too."

Damon was intrigued. He nodded slightly. "I'm first. Are you possessed?"

Stefan smiled. "Gold star." At least he finally admitted it.

"My turn," Stefan said. "Do you really think you deserve someone like Bonnie Bennett."

Damon knew what he was trying to do. He just didn't know why. Evidently, he wanted to separate Bonnie and Damon, but what were his reasons?

"No," he answered, honestly and without hesitation. "Why did you try to kill Bonnie?"

Stefan's smile disappeared. "She's annoying," he said, convincingly.

"That's not even a good excuse," Damon said, twisting the bullet in his left hand. Stefan grit his teeth, but didn't yell. "Answer me," he said, raising his voice.

"Isn't it obvious," Stefan hissed.

"It will be when you say it."

"…fine," Stefan said, rolling his eyes. "She's dragging you down."

Damon frowned. Stefan said what he believed but not all of it.

"How so?"

Stefan didn't respond and Damon promtly twisted the bullet even more, to the point where he could feel his brother's skin shifting under it. Stefan screamed again, unable to control it.

"It's clear you're meant to be with Elena." He was _lying_.

Damon twisted the bullet, harder this time.

"Talk."

"Come on, Damon. You're not supposed to be awake. You're supposed to be _one of us_." Stefan hissed. "You know you were happier then. In a world where you got to see Bonnie every day. In a world where she stayed the same, no matter what you did. In a world where you couldn't hurt her." Damon told himself that he was lying, but felt an inexplicable urge to believe him and do exactly what he said. He was getting stronger. Damon instinctively reached for the vervain gun, but Stefan intervened, "Shooting me would be against the rules. I told the truth." Damon cupped his face with his hands but set the gun back down. Stefan was trying to get rid of Bonnie. To make Damon more susceptible to getting possessed again. And this time, no one would be able to wake him up. Damon shuddered.

"My turn again. I saw the look you had before you went to see Elena. Right before she woke up. You were going to leave. Hide. Never come back. Now, tell me something, Damon. Were you doing that for Bonnie or for yourself?"

Damon flinched. "You asked me if I think I deserve her. Absolutely not. I never will. She's strong, she's brave, she's selfless, she's kind and she's everything that I'm not. When I look at her, that's what she reminds me of. Everything that I'm not. But when I look at her, she also reminds me of what I can be. When I look at her, I see how much she cares. I'm not worthy of that, but when I look at her, she reminds me that I can be. Now, if you think that I would ever in a million years trade that glimmer of hope she gives me for my conscience or anything else, you are entirely wrong. I would never – _never_ – trade seeing her smile, or hearing her laugh or even watching her fail miserably at making pancakes – for anything in the world. Except her happiness. So to answer your question, no matter how selfish I've been in the past, on that day, I was leaving because she needed it, not because I did." Damon had said these words without thinking. He hadn't even know he felt that way until he said it and then he knew for sure. He had convinced himself that he was entirely selfish and that he was leaving her again because he couldn't handle it. But something about Weird Possessed Stefan's presence _made_ him tell the truth. Even if he didn't completely know it himself. Stefan looked disappointed, but to Damon's surprise he wasn't looking at Damon. He was stairing directly at the doorway. Damon turned around and saw Bonnie and Caroline standing by the door.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

 **Dedication: The guest reviewer who motivated me to finish this chapter quickly. You know who you are. Sorry I kept you waiting.**

 **Note: Again, sorry it's late, I'm trying to get them done as fast as I can, but it takes a while to come up with the storyline. Thank you guys for 70+ reviews! I hope you're enjoying reading as much as I enjoy writing. Please leave a review if you like this chapter and tell me what you want to happen next!**

Bonnie had overheard Damon's speech to Stefan. Not that she could help it. Now that she was a vampire she could hear everything whether she liked it or not. She took it from Caroline's shocked expression that she, too, had heard everything. Stefan had a curious look on his face. He stared directly at Bonnie, barely taking notice of Caroline. Damon looked apologetically at Bonnie. As he should have. Bonnie was _livid_. Sure, a part of her loved everything he'd said in that speech. It had given her a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach that made her get the odd urge to jump out of her skin. But still, he tried to leave. _Again._ Without telling her. Again. So even though a part of her wanted to forget that, she knew that she couldn't. She couldn't get hurt again.

Finally someone spoke. "Good of you to join us. Your boyfriend over here was giving me some of the old-school torture-interrogation."

Bonnie shifted her gaze from Damon to his brother. "Great. I have some questions I'd like to ask as well." Stefan smiled, but looked exhausted. Bonnie didn't know what Damon had been doing to him, but it had obviously put him in tremendous pain.

Bonnie gently pushed Caroline forward. "Who is this girl?"

"Caroline Forbes," Stefan said with ease. "My turn…"

"No, no. You don't get a turn. You're the prisoner, remember. How do you know her?"

"She was friends with Elena," he said easily again. Caroline looked hurt, but didn't say anything.

Damon and Bonnie exchanged looks, but Caroline's eyes were firmly planted on Stefan's emotionless ones.

"What is your relationship with her?"

" _My_ relationship with her? Don't have one." He said this without missing a beat, without looking away, without even flinching. Caroline's expression changed to fear, as Bonnie realised just how bad the situation had gotten.

"That's a lie," Damon continued.

"Uh, Damon… sidebar?" Bonnie asked, scratching her head.

"What?" Damon whispered frustratedly as they stood in the corner watching Caroline stand without saying a word to Stefan.

"As much as this is entertaining, it's also useless. Stefan didn't know anything before he was possessed that we didn't know, and I'm guessing that didn't change. This thing is like having your emotions off, except there's a literal barrier from you and your emotions, instead of just a switch."

"Yeah, and he's one step away from going on a murderous rampage like me and Enzo did!" Damon said.

"Not if we keep him here. Clearly our current technique isn't doing much. A few more questions, then we move on."

"Move on to _what_?"

"I don't know. Maybe go back to the place where we found you," she said with a shudder. Damon looked worried.

"I – I can't let _that_ happen to me again," He said, his voice softening alarmingly.

"I – we won't let that happen to you," Bonnie said.

He looked away from her. "We should go back to questioning him. A few more, then we're done."

"Okay, we're back. The same rules apply," Damon said. 'Any questions? Anyone?" There was a pause for a second before Caroline suddenly asked, "When did you possess Stefan's body?" She sounded defeated. As though she knew they weren't going to get him back. Bonnie refused to believe that. She was going to do everything in her power to get him back and to keep Damon from slipping away again. From now on, everything would be fine. Even though she was still struggling with her vampirism, she would accept it and move on after this was all over.

Stefan answered easily. "At the mansion. I don't recall exactly when. In fact it's all quite a blur from that point." For a moment he looked confused before reverting back to his usual expression.

"He's telling the truth," Damon whispered to Bonnie.

Bonnie nodded uncertainly. She believed Damon. He had a knack for telling when someone was lying, especially with those he knew the best. Stefan was at the top of that list, even when he was virtually unreadable and emotionless.

"You know what that means," said Caroline. "We've got to go to the mansion."

Damon sighed. Bonnie saw how much he didn't want to go there and felt the sudden urge to grip his hand. She didn't, though. It wasn't the right time to do something like that, no matter what her intentions were. Instead she blurted out, "Caroline and I will go. You should stay here. Watch over your brother."

"If anyone understands what it's like to be possessed, it's me. I'm not leaving you – both of you alone with whatever that thing is."

"Someone has to stay…" Bonnie said.

"I will," Caroline said, smiling sadly. "You two go ahead. I'll make sure he doesn't try to kill anyone… again."

The car ride was silent, but not awkward. Damon kept his eyes firmly planted on the road as a tune from the '90's played softly from the car's old fashioned radio. Bonnie looked out of the window trying to drown out the sickly feeling in her stomach. The one she couldn't seem to shake. The one she hadn't been able to shake since the night she 'died'. Even when she slept or laughed or did anything remotely normal, that feeling lingered as strong as ever. It was a part of her, but it disgusted her immensely. It reminded her every day that every fiber of her being was against nature. It was a constant reminder that she had once been so in sync with nature and now she could barely look at a flower, let alone make one bloom. The constant stench of blood drowned out what was left of her humanity, but still, she would fight. She didn't have anything to fight for, but still, she would fight, like she always had.

'We're here," Damon said as the car came to a halt. He pursed his lips together. "Great."

They went to the front door and stood there for a moment.

"Oh," Damon said, smiling. "I forgot you can't go all 'Alohamora' anymore. Sorry, 'bout that, Bon-Bon." With one squeeze of his hand, he crushed the old rusted lock on the door. "They should really enchant this thing or something."

"I think the purpose of this house is to attract vampires so they can possess them. Enchantments would prohibit that."

"Good point," Damon whispered, slowly pushing the door open.

"Where do we go from here? Should we split up or something?"

Damon scoffed. "Have you ever seen a horror movie, Bon-Bon? _No_ , we should not split up. Unless you want to die, of course."

"I might take you up on that," Bonnie said without thinking.

Damon looked alarmed. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, I was just joking."

"Yeah, you better have just been joking. I'd rather not have you die, thanks. Now come on," he said, grabbing her hand as though she could disappear any second. "Time to pay a visit to our favourite room in the house." Damon smiled uneasily.

The library was dark, aside from a few lights near the bookshelves.

"It's the same as how we left it," said Bonnie, noticing that the books that Miranda had pulled out were still out of their shelves. She felt so relieved. She pulled out the flashlight on her phone and began to explore the shelves, looking for something that might explain the situation, but she noticed that Damon hung back.

"Uh… Bonnie, we may have a bit of a problem," he said, looking like he'd just seen a ghost.

"What?"

Damon shined his flashlight down at the bare floor. For a second, Bonnie didn't know why, but then she realised. Miranda's body wasn't there. Someone had _moved_ it.

Then as if it was something straight out of a horror movie, the door of the library creaked open.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

 **Dedication: Everyone who's helped get us to 75 reviews. You guys are amazing. Thank you all so much.**

 **Note: Pretty sure you'll either love this one or hate it. Either way, glad I made you feel _something_ , even if that something is negative. It's been officially confirmed that season 8 of tvd will be it's last :( It's sad, but I think it's best to go out on a high note like they're doing. Obviously Delena will be endgame in the show, but there's still hope for Bonnie and Damon in this fanfiction! Keep reading and review if you love Bamon and Tvd!**

 **Btw. Bonnie has gotten a lot of attention XD sorry about that, but she's been undergoing a lot of changes as you all know so it's kind of hard to keep her out of the spotlight. Anyway, it's 3 AM, so I'm going to stop. Hope you enjoy!**

A tall man walked in, the light of Damon's torch in the darkness accentuating his pale features. The man looked like a spirit who had ventured into the living world mistakenly. He had hollows under his eyes, so dark that they cloaked the rest of him. Damon could have sworn he had seen him somewhere, but he couldn't place when and where.

There wasn't even a ghost of a smile on the man's face as he crept into the room, regarding Damon and Bonnie with an ominous stare.

"You shouldn't be here," he said deeply to Bonnie, barely taking much notice of Damon. Damon looked at Bonnie for an explanation but she looked as clueless as he was.

"Bonnie, let's…" Damon began speaking but suddenly fell silent. He tried to speak again but it was useless. The man had done something to him and had been able to control him just like Miranda had. Yet again it had been too easy to control him.

"Damon…" Bonnie said, realisation dawning apon her. "Let him go!"

"He's free to move, just can't talk. If he wants to run, he can, although I don't see the point since all the doors are now locked except this one. I don't take kindly to visitors."

"What do you want with us?"

"Easy. I'll take one of you. Although I'd like Damon to stay here, you're more valuable. A witch, aren't you?"

Damon looked over to Bonnie, hoping that she saw what he was trying to say. " _Get him to take me instead._ "

By the look she returned to him, she knew exactly what he meant, but evidently, wasn't about to pay any attention to it. _Of course she wasn't._

"I'm not a witch," Bonnie said truthfully. "Not anymore."

The man laughed; a humorless laugh, more like he found them to be a nuisance rather than a source of amusement. Damon hoped they irritated him so much he had to free them, but that was probably wishful thinking.

"You're a witch."

"No, you don't understand…"

"Yes, I do."

Damon frowned. Was it possible that Bonnie was somehow still a witch despite being turned into a vampire?

"Here's the deal," the man began. "You get all the answers you need as long as I get to keep you.'

"Depends on your answers," Bonnie said, hesitantly. Damon realised he wasn't going to be of much help here. He clearly wasn't the man's main point of interest. He squinted his eyes trying to figure out who the man was.

The man looked at Damon with a smirk. "Still can't quite place me, can you? Interesting."

"Who are you?" Bonnie asked, echoing Damon's thoughts.

"Well, I _was_ Miranda's lieutenant, but now, I believe I'm the one in charge," he answered, looking down at the spot where Miranda's body had been. "Don't worry though. I tend to handle things differently than she did. If I make a promise, I keep it. It might interest you to know that I'm the one who got to your friend Stefan."

"How do we get him back?"

The man sighed. "You don't."

Damon's heart sank.

"What?" Bonnie said.

"He's a doppelgänger, isn't he? If one of them is possessed, it's virtually impossible to get them back."

Bonnie looked horrified. "What do you mean 'virtually'?"

"Well, there is a way. Of course, it's going to involve you making a deal I reckon you don't want to make."

"What is it?" Bonnie spat.

"For starters, you become one of us. Anyone that can wake you up stays far away." He stared at Damon when he said it as if he was trying to intimidate him. It wasn't working. Worse things had happened in the past and they'd always gotten past them. This wouldn't be an exception.

"You expect me to give myself away, just like that?"

"I know you will, Bonnie," he answered, making Bonnie's face tense up upon hearing the finality of his tone. It was almost as if that wasn't just a figure of speech. That he actually knew, with complete certainty what would happen next. Damon tensed along with Bonnie as he stared at the man, observing how he seemed to be watching every nook and corner of the room although he was looking straight at Bonnie. This would be harder than Damon expected. Nevertheless, he would think of something. No matter what he had to do, he would find a way to get them out of this place.

"How?" Bonnie asked, intrigued. "How would you know how I feel when you've just met me?"

"It's true. I have just met you." The man stepped towards Bonnie regarding her with a curious look, a hint of amusement hidden on his otherwise plain face. "But that doesn't mean I do not know you."

"What are you talking about?"

"Some men like books. Some men like films. I for one, like people. I like to read them. I like to watch them." He stared intently at Bonnie, and Damon felt his fists clench against his will. The man looked at Damon with a slight smile, noticing his discomfort.

"That's precisely what I did with your little friend over here." Damon's eyes widened.

"The fantasy he experienced was quite unique. Usually most people experience it one of three ways. Either they see the one they love and immediately find themselves returning, or they see no one because they've never loved. Most often, however, they see the one they love, but find themselves slipping slowly into the dream world, where love is never unrequited and it never ceases unless you will it to. Damon, though… oh, he was _very_ different. See, he had days where he wanted to stay and days when he wanted to leave and even days when he just wanted you to disappear and be rid of it all. But in the end, when you were gone; when you stopped appearing… that was when he realised that he needed you there whether or not he was in the dream world. Whether or not you were real or fake. It could have gone either way, which is very strange. I would consider some therapy, if I were you, Mr. Salvatore." He said all of this with an ever-so small dose of passion in his voice. How could someone with no emotions, have even an ounce of passion in them. Damon would be speechless if he wasn't already. Someone had been watching him that whole time. Observing and enjoying his dream/nightmare world.

Bonnie looked at Damon for a moment as if evaluating something.

"How did you watch?"

"I'm a warlock…" The man said. Then he rushed over to Damon at a super fast speed and then back to Bonnie. "…And a vampire."

Bonnie stared in astonishement, unable to say a word.

"Here's the best part. Join me, and you can be both."

Bonnie tried her best to act nonchalant but she wasn't doing very well.

"My name is Petyr, by the way. But names don't really matter at this point, do they?"

"No. I think when you've lost what makes you yourself, you've lost your identity altogether," Bonnie says, although she looked like she was still pondering what Petyr had said about being both a vampire and a warlock.

"The deal is simple," Petyr said. "I will tell Damon how to get Stefan back and set him free, you will get your powers back and exchange, you'll be one of us. Permanently." Damon felt rage bubble up inside him. He shook his head disapprovingly at Bonnie and shot Petyr a look. She turned back to look at Petyr.

She hesitated before saying, "Why do you want me so bad?"

"You're a Bennett, witch, aren't you? I – well, Petyr, always held a fascination with the Bennett witches. Understandably, too. Your kind of power is mysterious. Something that I have never gotten the chance to explore."

"How can I trust you'll keep your word?"

"You can't," Petyr said truthfully. "But if you don't, I'll just kill you both."

"Why do you even need my cooperation? Can't you just take me against my will?" This was not safe territory to venture into.

"I cannot," Petyr said gritting his teeth. "I need your word that you won't make any attempt to fight against it. If you do, this will be a lot harder than it needs to be."

Bonnie sighed and Damon immediately knew what she was about to do. "Done," she said. "Can I just have a minute alone with Damon, please?" Petyr nodded, satisfied and walked out of the room without a word. Damon felt words rising in his throat again.

"Bonnie…" Damon began, frustratedly but Bonnie interrupted.

"You don't get to make this choice for me, Damon. You don't even get to have a say. I never had one in your decisions."

Damon felt a familiar rush of guilt. "I know," he managed. "I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry about everything, really." He grabbed hold of her hand and a pained look entered her eyes.

"I forgive you."

"No, you don't."

"No, Damon. I mean it. I forgive you. I don't want to, believe me. I wish I could hate you and let go everything, but I can't. So I forgive you because I don't have any other option. I forgive you because you're… my best friend." She smiled at him, a sad, almost regretful stared at each other for a moment before Damon broke the silence with words so soft he could barely hear them himself. "It's going to be hard, but you're going to come back. I know you are."

"Until I do… I guess this is goodbye."

Bonnie went to let Petyr in, but felt herself stop halfway to the door. She turned around and saw Damon staring after her. He walked toward her.

"I'm gonna miss you, Bon-Bon," He said, making her laugh a little, although it wasn't a happy laugh. He smiled slightly at her and before she knew it, he leaned down and kissed her. She wasn't expecting that, but it had happened. She wasn't sure whether to run before she broke down or kiss him back. She chose the latter. She hadn't gotten anywhere from running in the past.

"I love you," he whispered softly. She couldn't say anything back, but she could tell that he knew what she was thinking.

She opened the door. Petyr stood in the hallway, playing with a knife. She felt herself go pale.

He set a fire in the fireplace within seconds.

"This is going to hurt," he said. "But it's the last thing that will ever hurt you." His voice was anything but reassuring. He spoke like a snake, every last word bouncing off his tongue like a hiss. She didn't trust him as far as she could throw him. Right now, though, if anyone was going to throw anyone anywhere, it looked like it would be him.

Damon stood as close at Petyr would allow him. He kept his eyes firmly planted on Bonnie, ready to break Petyr's neck if she so much as nodded at him. Bonnie sat in a chair by the fire. Petyr twisted a dagger sadistically in his hand. The dagger had a gold hilt with silver writing that seemed to be a spell of some sort. Bonnie stared at the fire, the flames dancing in her eyes. She looked scared, but didn't flinch.

Petyr stuck the dagger into the fire, prompting Bonnie to gasp a little and Damon to clench his fists. He mentally prepared himself for what was about to happen and grit his teeth. Bonnie looked at him as if to say, "It's okay." But it wasn't okay. He would just have to bear with it until he could make it okay again.

Bonnie yelled out miserably when the dagger was pressed to her forearm. Damon felt fire in his lungs. He struggled to keep himself from jumping at Petyr and ripping his guts out. Petyr kept it pressed for an unbearable amount of time, whilst saying an incantation over and over again. Then he put it in the fire once more before pressing it to her skin for a second time. She yelled again, louder this time because she was only expecting it to happen once. Tears fell as if they were being forced out of her eyes.

"The box in the drawer on the left will help with Stefan. I promise," Petyr said absentmindedly, as he stuck the knife in the fire again.

Damon retrieved the box whilst keeping one eye on Bonnie.

"What does this fire thing do?" Damon asked, stressfully.

"It will give her powers back. This is the painful part. I'll make what happens next completely painless."

Damon opened the box, trying to block Bonnie's terrified screams out of his ears. A bubbling blue liquid in a vial. It reminded Damon of the cure, except blue. He wasn't sure of what it would do, but right now, it was his only hope.

Bonnie had been branded with three simple interlinked lines on her forearm. She looked weakened, but still strong as she regarded Damon, her eyes telling him once again that it was all okay.

"The hard part's over, Bonnie," Petyr said, in a sickly soft voice. It sounded almost like he cared about her, although Damon could sense the mocking undertones in his words.

With a flourish of his hands, he touched a part of Bonnie's neck, making her eyes roll back into her head immediately and the marks on her arm fade to scars.

Damon rushed toward her in horror. "What did you do?"

"Possessed her," Petyr answered casually.

When Bonnie's eyes opened, she looked disorientated. For a moment, she looked like she didn't know where she was or who she was at all. Then her expression turned ice cold, just like Petyr's. Damon felt his stomach sink. Petyr smiled, satisfied.

Damon looked at Bonnie's empty eyes and couldn't resist the urge any longer. He grabbed the dagger quickly and pushed Petyr to the ground, nearly slicing his neck open. Petyr pushed Damon off him, amusedly.

"You're quite strong for a mere vampire. Not strong enough, though. Say your goodbyes if you must, then get out of here. We've got work to do."

Petyr walked towards the door, still looking at Bonnie and Damon.

Damon leaned toward her, hugging her. He wasn't shocked when she didn't return the embrace. She was gone.

"It didn't work," she whispered in his ear so softly he could barely hear it. Petyr certainly hadn't heard it. Damon felt happiness flood through him, but he kept his expression sad, so he didn't give anything away. He pulled away and shot her a look that said, "I'll be back." She smiled ever-so slightly indicating that she knew he would.

"Okay, Bonnie, do something witchy," Petyr said. Bonnie smiled slightly, pulling off the emotionless expression strangely well, even though she was 100% still Bonnie Bennett.

With one wave of her hand the fire was extinguished. Petyr laughed, dryly. "Fantastic." Damon was out the door before Petyr could finish the word. With the box in his hand, he sprinted down the stairs and out of the house. He would help Stefan and set Bonnie free.

He would.

He didn't know how or why Bonnie was still Bonnie, but he knew that he would make sure she stayed that way.


End file.
